Thursday, November 3, 2011

soundtrack of my Thursdays...18


Sam and Frodo are sitting on a mound of earth, as everything around them is being destroyed by molten lava. it seems like a pretty hopeless situation...the music in this scene is pretty cool.

This gigantic eagle flies in and rescues them...this is the scene I imagine when I thing of Jack leaving this earth.  The music in this part just takes my breath away. We have this soundtrack in the CD player in the Ol' Grey Mare (my van). Number 16..that's the song from this scene...not sure what it's called right now but it makes me cry as I imagine my sweet wiggly boy taking off on Eagle's Wing to glory.
I am not saying I even know how it is when one leave's their earthly shell....I don't. But since losing our boy, I imagine all sorts of ways in which we do exit this life.
Such a brave little guy.

Chris Rice's "Untitled Hymn: Come to Jesus" is always a tear-jerker.
It makes sense every day...

"When you can't contain your JOY inside..."




Hi.Can you believe that it's another Thursday, and rainy to boot?
I am completely disheveled in my thoughts today.
I do know this much...just when I think I'm doing "all right",
I hit another rough patch...
Sunday was Jack's 4 month mark with Jesus, which I'm sure where he is at, time means nothing.
To me, it seems an eternity. I'm still waiting to hold him and do all the things that new mom's do...
I'm in a sort of limbo.

If you've ever been pregnant, you know what I am referring to.

I went to my first support group meeting on Tuesday night. My sister and mom joined me.
It was a surreal moment...talking to complete strangers about Jack...and breaking down, crying about it. I felt ridiculous.

I have a Harvest Party to blog about, trick or treating with the K family, JOY Ministries and other things rolling around in my dingy ol' head.

Forgive my air-headedness.
Thursdays really do a number on me.



5 comments:

Tashena said...

Dearest,
Been waiting to "hear" from you.
This is how I know you are still over there - by your beloved blog that I feel I stalk...Dan even asked if I was obsessed... Uh, it's not a bad thing...right?

Anyway, just wanting to send X's & O's.

In Time,
Your friend who misses you like crazy
XOXO

Anonymous said...

Your other stalker has checked in, and while I am sad that you are sad, I am thankful to know that you are there. Hugs, Tory

Jodi said...

I missed the Young family today...missed that sweet little Molly smile and a hug from her momma.
Eighteen weeks.
Maybe we can shoot for a New Year's coffee date?
One of these days...

Love you,
:) Jodi

Laurie and company said...

Tashena,
You hardly stalk this blog!! You're just checking on your neighbor...like the Bible says to do. thank you for the x's and o's...my phone was stolen at the YMCA tonight so I feel a little lost. maybe that's a good thing?? I was going to text you back after I read this comment but whomp whomp...my phone is gone. Can't wait to catch up with you. hope you are feeling well.
love you, friend.
Tory, you always know just what to say. thanks for caring...you too, Jodi...thank you for caring. today is just ONE of those days. pain. pain. sadness falls like rain...I am so blessed by you girls.
I'm definitely game for a new year's coffee date!! ha ha :) xoxo

Michelle said...

I love Chris Rice and that song especially. It always makes me cry. I've been in a support group sharing with complete strangers about our Eden, and it feels weird at first, but sometimes you make lifelong friends. I still stay in contact with all of the couples we met when we were there. Hang in there.