|this space. right here...I must duplicate it somewhere. the weathered wood walls, light green couch, iron coffee table with wooden top, gigantic pics....love. love.|
|Ethan stayed back at the condo this day. I think Levi did too. They get tired of our coffee shenanigans.|
|this never ever gets old.|
|this doesn't either. I am ocean-sick.|
|Mel and I had a day out at the outlet mall. We saw Santa at the 'Bucks. Nice to know he vacations down there too.|
|This is Ethan teaching karate to his father.|
|This day, the water was such a deep bluish green. I was in love.|
|Molly in the Morning. I love this face.|
|David looks like he's pouting. Not sure what he was doing actually. Trying not to get burned, that much is true.|
|I'm not a big fan of burying my kids. just saying|
|Our last night at the beautiful condo. We ate at Tacky Jack's. I hate leaving the great Gulf.|
|The first three. Always so glad to get them in a good picture.|
|Love these people.|
Hope this finds you enjoying some warmer temps and sunshine. We have a bit of sunshine and the temps, though hardly warmer, are much better than the 20's and 30's we had earlier this week. Boo!!
Spring, please come. In Indy, we go from 50's and 60's to 90's it seems. I guess at this point, I'd welcome some 90's. Sheesh. This winter has been harsh.
So many fun and exciting things on our horizon...I honestly sit down to blog and don't know where to begin, what to share, what not to share and so on.
I can say this....God is good and I'm truly thankful for the journey we've been on for, well...ever, but namely the past 3 years. I believe that even when bad, hard, painful things happen, that God is still good and worthy of our praise and trust. Hard to accept sometimes, yes...but worthy. The way in which I've seen my kids grown in Christ, my marriage, my own personal relationship is other worldly. This time three years ago, I was in a very crabby pregnancy, feeling very, very scared and challenged. I had asked the Lord to show Himself to me, felt dead in my own walk....and then Jack.
Amazes me how the Lord shows up. Not that He wasn't always there. He was.
I'm at the point in my Grief Journey where I can look back, enough time has passed, where I don't cry as much as I used to. Sometimes, even, days go by and I don't think about that particular day, at least coherently...
I mostly just look forward to the day when I will see Jesus and I get to see my precious son. I imagine him hanging out with Grandma Taylor, Pastor Mills, Auntie Bee and Tim, Grandma and Grandpa McCoy, cousin Tim, Keith Green, Rich Mullins...whoever has touched my life down there, they are with him up there, telling him stories about me and his dad.
Anyways, I don't get lost in those imaginings like I used to but still do. It used to consume me....now it just makes me smile and laugh.
My life is forever changed. For the better. To God be the Glory.
On another note, I am reading a book by a mom whose son died in utero during labor also. It is a very sad, hopeless book to me. It's taken me forever to read it because it is truly depressing. She was angry, blaming, void of any hope that she'd see her son again. Blaming the cosmos, universe, this thought or that action....
and I get it. I know. Most people don't believe the way we do, that we will see Jack again, that we have this HOPE as an anchor for our soul (Jesus Christ)....and may call us cray cray. That's ok too. It honestly can't be any crazier than believing that the Universe took your baby and that his spirit just dissolved into the earth and sky, trees, ocean and such. I appreciate having this hope and I will until I take my last breath.
In the morning, when I rise, Give me Jesus. When I am alone, oh when I am alone, Give me Jesus. When I come to die....Give me Jesus. such simple words but so full of life for me.
I am done now. Totally didn't mean to get off on a tangent but feeling so burdened by occurrences in our world. Just laying them all down.
hope you have a wonderful weekend. I'll be back with more pics soon.