Saturday, September 10, 2011

A title would be nice here...

Jack pillow.

a precious wall hanging.

my new journal. How many of you journal regularly? I know I do.
I have, almost regularly, since David and I got married. It's fun to read thru the ones from 1994, when my handwriting was still pretty nice. Then kids came along and it went down hill. :)
If you don't journal, you should start now. I know my kids will appreciate reading thru them when I'm gone.
Just keepin' it real.

Good Saturday morning!
I'm going to grumble for just a minute.
I love fall, autumn, chilly days.
and even some clouds now and again.
But seven straight days of it?

ok, I'm done now.

I will choose JOY in the midst of it.

I am very frustrated. At this time last year, we had been praying that the Lord would close or open the door on one last baby for our family.
He obviously sorta opened it.
And then closed it.
it is hard to come to grips with a chapter of one's life closing.
(I can't believe I'm not taking care of Jack...what I'd give to snuggle him, smell his amazing head and breath...ahhhhhh)

This is where I find my identity and have for almost the last 17 years, since Will arrived on the scene. I know, essentially, that being a mother is just ONE of my roles.

When you live and breathe babies, kids, tweens, teens for so long, I guess it's not hard to do that. (find identity there, that is)

I am still mom to Will Franklin, Ethan James, Melanie Kate, Levi Taylor, Molly Christine, and sweet angel Jack Oliver. Always will be.

What will become of me when they all go and get their own lives? I hope they will include me and David. I want to be a loving, Godly grandparent.

I wonder if I should go to college? What would I even go to college for? I'm really good at bum wiping, nose wiping, fight breaking up, facebooking, blogging, laundry, scrapbooking but I don't know that there is a degree for those mad "skills" ya know?

so that is where I'm at between thoughts of cleaning, sweet Jack, sick kids, what should I do? I think the Lord might be taking me to the "next level".

Whatever that may be.

Let me leave you with this, as a friend on Facebook so creatively shared with me...
Just A Child of the King.
Jack's name makes an amazing acronym!

Let's not forget that that is our best role and most eternal.
God bless you today.


Tashena said...


Wish the sun would pop out - at least it's not raining, huh?

Hope your picnic was very enjoyable!

I think your "skills" speak highly of you - a calling we too often look down on... NOT HERE!

Praying for you and wishing for a fulfilled feeling in your heart.


Tory said...

Blogging two days in a row? I am so blessed! I was sitting here "trying" to write on my dissertation and hoping for some personal contact. Have tapped out on e-mail and facebook when I noticed that you had blogged again.

Well, you know me, I love school. So, I would advise anyone to take at least a class or two to try it. There is always something to be gained. However, with your mad skills, there are plenty of options if need be. But, as I see it, you and your kids should always be close, and you will want to keep your options open to be close. (There are plenty of jobs with schools, crafts...and, those are just a couple of things that I can think of right off hand.) So, don't jump out too fast...another reason just to take a class to try out college. There are always online classes through several Bible institutes, too.

So, many options. Just be still and know that God IS! And, in that moment of silence and calm, you will eventually know. Of course, that is easy to say when I know how your heart is just crying out looking for an option to break through this pain. You know, you would be an amazing support member for a grief group. Then again, there should be volunteer opportunities like Meals on Wheels that you could do like once a week...they would be a blessing in and of themselves.

But, just know this, you are doing what you need to be right now. You are an amazing mother, crafter, blogger, and thoughtful cousin! I am definitely BLESSED!

Oh, and PS...can you send some of that Fall weather our way? Can I just say highs in the 80s?

Jodi said...

I had so many things to say to you...until I read Tory's comment. She said beautifully what I was stumbling to put into words.

Hey...I have a blogging assignment for you if you would like it. I have always thought that I would like to keep a journal. I've started several and then quit. I worry about what kind of book to write in, where to store them, what if they are too personal for someone to find after I die, and on and on and on and on...

Would you blog about your journaling? How you started, what you journal in...maybe even one if you not-so-personal entries? When you talked about the things that you wrote in your journal during your pregnancy, I thought how neat that was--that you have record of your thoughts and feelings.

I love you, Laurie.
:) Jodi

Laurie and company said...

If I choose to accept your mission, Mrs. A?? I think I could take on this assignment. I have been looking thru my old, old journals...and my now journals. ha ha. so many changes. kinda neat to see how time changes a person. I'm still pretty complainy in them and my handwriting is so poor and scattered now, as opposed to my 1994 writing, which was pretty nice. (B.K. before kids)
thanks for your uplifting words, Tashena, Tory, Jodi. thanks for praying, for visiting my blog and for just plain caring. You are my lifelines right now. It's been a very challenging, hard week. all the way around.
I will take your suggestions to heart, ladies.
Much love to you all...