Thursday, April 19, 2012

forty-two

I love how David is resting his head on mine. I love that guy! We had not a clue, did we. It makes me ache to look at all of the beautiful pictures that Natalie took for us. I will be forever grateful for the time she spent and the images captured of our sweet Glory Baby with us. All 8 of us. (I was soooo ginormous, I can see clearly why this weight loss is such a struggle...)

Jack Oliver Young, you are so loved. I just wonder what Molly is peering at here...the baby, in my arms and in my belly, that was maybe possibly going to upstage her soon? 

I love that Levi has his head so close to Jack.  I'm glad that he heard us have fun and laugh.
I'm glad that he now knows just how much we all love him.
42 Thursdays ago.

We miss you, Jack. We're in an "up" time, at the top of the wave...we may be in a holding pattern as your first (still)birthday approaches...I'm gathering ideas and thoughts of how I would like for his Balloon Launch to go, to honor not only Jack Oliver Young's precious, short life but to honor the changes that it has brought into each of our lives.

I can't believe that in 10 short weeks, he will have been gone from us for a year.

As I wrote in my JOY journal today...I was struck with the fact that when people lose a loved one, whether a child, parent, grandparent or spouse, they probably had the chance to create some memories with that loved one, before they passed.

I never got to do that, we never got to do that. I held that adorable, lifeless boy and all of my hopes washed down the drain...

I wanted my sister to have a new nephew to spoil, or my friend, Tammy, to see one of my precious baby boys, for her to love on him and for me to redeem the awesome coupons she made for childcare. Or for my other friend, Jennifer, to start working on Leemarie's dowry for the day when Jack would marry her...who would he start to look like? whose personality would he lean toward?  His feet would have rarely touched the ground, had he lived.  Tom always said we should name him Replacement Molly...(I'll explain that another day). So, who is my Replacement Jack?

No one...no one will ever replace you, Jack. Just wanted to make sure you knew that.

I'm so blessed to have six beautiful children. I'm so honored that the Lord is taking us down this road...it's dark and thorny in a lot of places but in the moments of light, it's VERY light and the Son shines on us in ways He never has.

sorry, I'm always really emotional when I finish exercising...

2 comments:

Tesha said...

Lauri, I love this heartfelt post. You are so right even in the darkness I am aware that Jesus is make me new and better. I feel the same way there is no one to replace Jonathan. I do hope we have more babies but no one could replace him. I love the sweet pregnancy pictures, lovely that you have one of ALL of you :) I am saying a prayer for your sweet mama's heart, the good Lord know no mommy should have to walk through this. ((Hugs)) friend

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you peeps.

Love and hugs,
Tory