Thursday, March 22, 2012

thirty eight thursdays

Cincy March 2011

Cheesecake Factory May 18, 2011

baby shower May 29, 2011

June 25, 2011 or thereabouts.

May 18, 2011. Just waiting for JOY to show up.

sweet Jack Oliver Young is in every one of these pictures.
I miss him. I never even got to see his peepers opened. Or see how he'd move his mouth, gnaw on his sweet hands.
I can't even imagine what life would be like if he were here.
I feel like I'm still expecting.
I never got the prize at the end. I mean, I did, but it was so totally NOT what I had envisioned it to be.

I need to add to my list of things to blog about:
I got my beautiful "In Our Hearts" photo pendant in the mail today (Thank you, Celia. It is BEAUTIFUL). Very fitting for this 38th Thursday.
It's lovely.
I put it on, instantly.
I wore it into Target.
The cashier, Becky, asked me about it.
I told her who it was. She remembered me from Christmas time. Asked if I was the girl with "all the kids".
The lady in line behind me told me that there would be a special reward for moms like me in eternity.

I told her that I hoped it would be that baby boy on my hip forever. Praising the Lord, Creator of Life and this Universe. She smiled. it was like she knew something that I didn't, or that she was sent by Someone.

Hopefully life will slow down long enough for me to get my blog caught up this weekend.
It needs to. I can feel myself crashing and burning.

Just so ya know, kids, I love you. Each and every one of you.
Just so ya know, David, I love you.
Just so ya know, person that I talk to or don't talk to but know one way or another, I love you.

So many hurts. So many rejoices. so much sorrow, yet so much JOY. Find JOY. that's a challenge.
Good night...


Annette said...

Just so ya know sweet friend... I love ya!! And I am doing my best to find JOY... hard sometimes yes, but usually worth the effort!

Tesha said...

Thanks for the challenge mine has gone missing lately. I am weary. I love this post it helps so much to read and know that I am not alone. Saying a prayer for you tonight!

Duane and Shellee said...

Love you my Indy friend! Thinking about you alot and praying for you too.... Just so ya know.... I tried to comment three times before but my phone doesn't like your robot checker. There will be a reward..... I
Am thankful for Isaiah 40:11 right now....
Love & prayers,

Tashena said...

Crying here.
Just crying.
How I wish you had that baby boy on your hip now, screaming in your ear, eating your hair, smiling with big blue eyes wide open.

Well, I must go get a tissue. Kade & Elijah are here wondering what in the world I am crying for while looking at your beautiful pictures, reading your beautiful words.

Love you, Dear Friend!

Anonymous said...

Okay, so, I am going to be that one person that doesn't focus on the words of the post...but, my ADHD brain just wants to know, what was in the egg carton at the baby shower? I know that shouldn't be what I am focused on, and I apologize for it. But, I am just so wanting to know.

Hugs, Tory

Laurie and company said...

thank you, Annette, Tesha, Shellee, Tashena. your words spur me on.
Tory, your words crack me up, which I needed, I will need to blog about that. which I may have, check May or June of last year...Tammy did that egg carton thing for me. cut our heads out of one of our pics, attached them to little pipe cleaners, and wrapped each one with some money, which I used to buy stuff for Jack...I will post a pic of them. It was so creative and sweeet. I love your ADHDedness. Hugs to you, sweet cousin, and all the rest of you too.

Facets of Life said...

I am trying to get caught up on reading my blogs... & I am at a loss for words right now... seeing baby Jack within your womb... as I said earlier, oh the memories! Sometimes choosing JOY seems so out of reach & that is when I have to start CHASING JOY! It can so easily slip away. Sending love to you... LCW