Monday, October 3, 2011

...I will still lift my face to the heavens...

One of my all time faves. My brother's camera is magical. 10/16/10

Do you ever hear a song that you've listened to over and over and over and over and over again and then you hear it again, for like the bajillionth time and it has whole new meaning or you hear something you hadn't noticed before or you appreciate it like you never have?

I did that today with a Jars of Clay song that is in my Jack Oliver Young playlist on my iPod. It's called The Valley Song. (I had it on my blog playlist over there but it's gone now). I clicked on it, listened and the floodgates opened as Mel and I walked today. It's hard to walk and close your eyes.  my exercise time always makes me cry...and not just because it's hard to make yourself do something challenging like that and I'm uber lazy and kinda resentful right now. (I'm not at the point in my post-partum exercise journey where I LOVE, using that term lightly,  to run or look forward to the rush of will come, just not yet). I am "resentful" because I keep thinking, "I gained all that weight, went thru alllll of that, and I don't even have a sweet baby boy back home, waiting for me to get done exercising!!" 

If you can find it, you's my new anthem. The words will stop you in your tracks. The chorus goes "I will sing of Your mercy that leads me thru valleys of sorrow to rivers of JOY....." each verse is just incredible, astounding, and deep for anyone who calls on the name of Jesus Christ. 

~This picture has nothing more to do with tonight's post than the simple fact that it was taken the day I found out, took my little test, that I was expecting. And another simple's just an awesome pic that makes me smile and so glad that God put this little whirling dervish into my life, into our lives. She is beautiful. I look at her and I can see what Jack would've been like...without the insane love of princess movies, boa's, clicky shoes and dress up...I think he would've been mischievous but non-dramatic. I also think he would have had her light blue eyes and smattering of freckles.

Let me leave you with this...and lemme tell you, I'm chock full o' goodies but I will limit myself:

In church yesterday, Randy was preaching from the book of Jude...and somewhere toward the middle to end of his message, he mentioned standing before God...and I had the coolest thought/vision/picture of me standing at His feet, with Jack in my arms. and all that crazy, light brown hair sticking straight up, while he smiles up at me and coos. I don't know how all of that goes, but for now, these images help me thru the days. 

Ok, one last thought...TORY??? where are you? 

Allright, good night. God bless you.

forgive this all over the place post. I am such a ding dong.


HelenaHandbag said...

Then you will be my favorite ding dong!

Jodi said...

Oh, Laurie!
What a picture!

Do you think that Jesus will be the one to hand Jack to you as Jack is reaching out for you? Or will someone you love, who has gone before, bring him to you with shouts of joy, loving hugs, and a tear-soaked face?

I love thinking of that day!

And I love that picture of your little Fairy Princess flying through the air about to pounce on her daddy.
Do fairies pounce? :)

I do love you,
:) Jodi

Tory said...

Hey there, Laurie! I am here in sort of quiet stalk mode. It is the middle of the semester, and I have been juggling dissertation, teaching two classes of 65 students, and trying to get to Kinston when I can which by the way, we still haven't closed the pool. Then, last Saturday, was national card making day; so, it's just been a zoo in my life. Of course, I am sure that is all in a day's work for you, but you have to remember, I am an only child. Teeheehee....Also, I am kind of in a quiet place right still and know that God is with me phase.

I still mourn with you, and I still think about JOY all the time. By the way, I loved Moo's calling it Jack butterfly. I even made a card last week that is for you at Christmas. But, I just am out of words that don't feel trite or self-righteous. You know?

Besides, I felt like I was too involved, and like maybe, you might need some space.

So, all that to say, I am here dear Laurie, and I am praying for each of you. Hugs, t

jill said...

I LOVE the picture of you standing, holding little Jack, looking up at God. I will hold onto that too. <3

Laurie and company said...

thank you, are one of my all time favorites! the wind beneath my tattered you.

Jodi, your comments are always such a smattering of emotions for make me laugh, cry, think, all in one fell swoop. I have wondered who will hand him to me...and I bet Jesus will...and I've also imagined Jack flittering over to me, with his little curled up piggies as they were that night. wouldn't it be cool if my grandma handed him to me? and she'd been singing the same songs to him that she used to sing to me and my kids?? I long for that day...though I will live in the now. thank you for these awesome thoughts, my loving friend. You are such a gem to you.

Tory, I will never need space from you. that is all I have...your involvement, whether regular or not as often, is always cherished. I know you are a busy girl...I hope you are able to breathe in those moments. love you, dear cousin.

Jill...your comment made my evening. I know you have some babies that you look forward to seeing. What an image for both, for all. Hugs to you, my expecting friend.

Tory said...

was on here to check for updates, and i was thinking...did i ever tell you that i love your couch? just sayin'. hugs, t