five months is a long time but not

or should that be knot? isn't it crazy how my mind works? when I say "wrap up the vacuum cord" I think of Jack. I drive myself crrrrazy.

written on the shores of Lake Michigan, 8 days after Jack left us. I still replay his birth over and over in my mind. all day long, here and there.  it never lessens in intensity and hurt. but that is when I feel the hands of God encompass me and I know I will be ok and that Jack Oliver is too.

I do too.. ...not sure what I clicked on, on Pinterest tonight, but this popped up. make your own baby toys. I'd like to.

Five months ago, right now, I was still carrying my very alive baby, Jack Oliver Young, safely in my womb. One would've never ever known that there were to be any complications. I assumed he'd be born vigorously, like his FIVE siblings before, safely, with a midwife in attendance (don't get me started on anyone that says ANY...THING against midwives, homebirth and the like...).

Never has a child been more prayed for. Never had we decided to give any of our children initials that would spell out anything...why now? why is it that everywhere I go, JOY is there? Joy, in the world's sense, doesn't mean the same thing as it does to me. If you see me weeping in the aisles at Menard's or Target, don't fret. I do that a lot lately. that deep, from the bowels sobbing comes up. Baby's First Christmas...Baby's First Thanksgiving. Cherish your babies, k? I want to take all that stuff, those bibs, those outfits and knock the racks over. Or drop kick the mommy who isn't thrilled with her baby, or who lets it cry, cry, cry and ignores him/her to satisfy their own selfishness...sorry.

JOY means that, even though something really sad, horrible, incomprehensible happened on that June 30th day...God can and will still bring JOY in the midst. Especially now, as we remember why we celebrate this season (though as followers of Jesus Christ, we should celebrate the gift of Himself upon that cross on a daily basis...), Mary and that little baby boy. Did she have that foreboding feeling that I did, knowing her Son would die?

I really should go to bed but I'm up preparing Advent stuff, perusing Pinterest (oh my word, that is an amazing website but be careful...it'll suck you in) and I have so many thoughts and plans, ideas and questions rolling around in my bumbly head. I don't ever mean to compare myself to Mary...ever. Just in that we are both mothers, who had babies.

As moms, empathy is so important. I always thought I was empathetic...but now. whoa. pshewwww. empathy = your pain in my heart. I am sure I've got a long way to go in the empathy department.

Tomorrow, home all day. Celebrating home life, my kids, the fact that my husband has work, crafting, schooling, and the missing life of our Sweet     Jack Oliver Young. We miss you so very much, sweetness.

On Sunday, December 11, at 2 p.m., Forest Lawn Memorial Gardens on 135 in Greenwood is having a Memorial service, where the names of each person "entrusted into the care of Forest Lawn" will be read off. You can buy a dove ornament. Appropriately, the ornament says JOY. I am pretty sure no one else's initials are going to be on their ornaments. Just ours. God knew what He was doing when he prodded us to give that boy those noticeable initials.

I will end with this...and I will post pix and full story tomorrow...Kaye B., a girl I used to work with at the Baptist Temple Daycare (from 1991-1992), sent me two bags full of JOY ornaments and decorations that she's been gathering for a while now. I'm crying even just typing this...do you folks even realize what this means? The first ornament I pulled out...well, I'll just post pix and the story tomorrow because I can't see the screen right now.

Good night. Godspeed.

NOTE: wow. I just re-read this. forgive me. I knew my head was a mush-fest but this just proves that I am right about ONE thing. that my head is mush. but I mean every word I said. Love your kids, love your husbands, stay strong. Serving God is worth every little tear that falls. night night.

Five days...

...till this guy and I celebrate our 17th anniversary.....

I find this rather hard to believe....

in just over 3 years, I will have been married longer than I was single. weird.

Anyways, today promises to be extremely crazy, as Monday's do. Biology for Will, Piano for Levi and Mel, Karate for E and Levi. I guess it's really not all that much but when you live 20 minutes from the places where all of these activities occur and you are the lone driver, it makes for a tiring day. I just made myself tired.

Maybe I will squeeze some coffee time in with my sister today. Or catch a glimpse of Tambo, whose leaving town and is returning my coffee maker....I can hope.

We'll see....all I know is that it seems weird that even though David is still in town, we haven't seen him much. We did get to be with him at the hotel on Saturday night and that was fun, fun, fun...I pray he will actually get to have some time off for Thanksgiving, like the hospital says....

I miss that boy!

Happy 16th Anniversary

we look like we are missing our eyeballs...

Happy Anniversary, David!

I am blessed to have such a patient, forgiving, loving, imperfect, funny, smart, caring guy by my side...it's been a definite growing year for us. God has been very good to us!

I love you, honey. you're so cool.

Is it August already?

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

So young, such love! Thank you for never being afraid to hold hands, or touch in public. Thank you for giving us a stable place to grow up. Thank you for calling Becky "Peanut" because you knew I was emotionally unstable and jealous of her. thanks. :)

We had a little impromptu anniversary celebration...and this was one of my favorite shots of the evening...Nora's face is priceless!

Forty years later...still smiling AND sitting next to each other. that means a lot. it really does. I love you guys something fierce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I've been a blog slacker (nuff outta you, Dad!) :)

August hits the ground running...August 4th was not only my mother in law's 61st birthday (Happy Birthday, Mom)...but my parents celebrated their 40th (yes, FORTIETH) wedding anniversary on the same day!

O

MY

GOSH.

forty years.

and today, August 10th, is my brother in law's 36th. I will have to dig up a picture of him...so I will be back. I've got lots of catching up to do!

Beware of sap...

I'm feeling rather melancholy right now...bear with me, k?

the original four...November 27, 1993 and November 27, 2008...Jeff was David's Best Man and Becky was my Maid of Honor...funny how that stuff still rings true. well, at least for us. can't speak for jeff or beck...leave me a comment if you agree, kids.

so we didn't get the line up exactly...the fact that we all still see each other is pretty quaint, I think.

but on to other things...I will delve into the Drumstick Dash a bit later...it's my turn to get all nostalgic about today...which is many things, but first and foremost, it's the day that I married Davey boy 15 years ago. this....is wild to me. I still feel like that 20-year old girl in my head (but then of course I see pix of myself and realize that I am still the same in spirit but not physically) that stepped out on a limb to marry this "renegade" dude...out of the system, student of the Bible, not afraid to say what he was thinking or stand up for what was right...me being the dippy, goofy, giggly sheltered girl I was...when I first laid eyes on David, (he had a beard and those BIG glasses)...I asked my friend who the lumberjack was...almost one year from that date, I was his wife...and a little over two years from lumberjack impression, I gave birth to his first son (Lumberjack Jr.)...wild.

It's been good. It's been hard. It's been rich. It's been most definitely a wonderful, wild ride...

And in spite of the hard times, I'm so thankful for God's gift of David to me.

I'm sitting here listening to my cheesy song list...making myself cry.

David and the 3 big kids left after dinner at my sister's this evening. They are going over to his family's home for a couple of nights...I'm home alone with Levi and Molly. I'm dingdongdead tired...sore from the Dash, weepy, verklempt, lonely...so here ya go...how depressing. sorry for that.

I was driving home from Beck's house just a bit ago, Levi and Molly were both sawing logs in the back seats. I saw different houses with loads of cars in the driveways...knowing that people were celebrating Thanksgiving, playing games, overeating, spending time together...and I felt like Kevin in "Home Alone" when he saw all the happy families celebrating in his neighborhood, or Buddy when he realized he wasn't actually an elf...and that sad, sappy Christmas was playing in my head...I miss those 4 loud people.

I guess it's maybe time for me to go to bed.

Happy 15th Anniversary, David. You were one of the best decisions I've made in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving to YOU....thanks for stopping by and for putting up with my sap. I 'preciate it.

Mom, thanks for watching Levi and Molly so we could do the Dash...for the scrumptious feast...for the time and effort that you and Beck put into that. Sorry, B, for the mess the kids made and for emitting a Grinch-like attitude to Piper...in spite of that, We are thankful and full. I love you all...

Happy Anniversary, Parents!!

Sorry, Dad, not a very flattering pic of you, but considering that you make this expression on purpose, that makes this posting of it A-OK!!

All of this to say...belatedly...

Happy 39th Anniversary, Mom & Dad!!

I can't believe how long that sounds.

August 4, 1969...and I couldn't find any of my old pictures of your wedding to post on here...

You are very important to us and we thank God for you!! Here's to the next 39!!

Here's the rest...

Christmas 2005
watch out for the Loch ness Monster, that's all I have to say, those aren't fish nippin' at your toes
Christmas 2004...whatta lovely couple!
Just got on my blog and thought that this one from yesterday afternoon had gone thru...hmmm, guess not. So it's a day late for you Becky but maybe that will make the memories of your lovely date last night refreshed thru the day!! When I told you I had posted again in honor of your anniversary, you probably thought I was crazy! Well here ya go!! It was waiting to be edited?? weird.
Next up, our get together of friends at my lovely friend, Donna's house this past Wednesday!

Happy 4th Anniversary, Beck and Scott!

November 29, 2003

Here's to the next 40+ years!! May the Lord bless your marriage and take you to places you never thought possible in your life!! I love you two and we are thankful for your little family!

I have been trying to post some pix for the past 45 minutes at least, and blogger won't let me! darn-it!! I've never run into the problem to this extent! they are not helping my blogging life! (I will have words with them...ha ha, just kiddin')

allright...it's now almost 6 p.m. and blogger just let me upload...so, Becky, sorry for not getting this up for you while you were at work. I had every intention of doing so!! Hope your night out is very relaxing and nice!

Just a few more "us" shots and then I'm done

still wet behind the ears engagement pic...we had noooooo idea what to expect (I didn't anyway...this is where gushy, movie-lie feelings of "first love" wear off)
Cake shoving!! I love my hair. not so much.
While I love this pic of us getting pegged with birdseed, I love Natalie's expression (in lower right corner) even more
Married for one week...downtown Indpls!
At my sissy's wedding, 2003...10 years and 2 days after ours...
O to be young again ! Not really. I really just want my 20-year old waist back. I have enjoyed our journey. It's been mostly fun...definitely a learning experience!
I will not bore you with anymore thru the years pix of us...I have definitely left the more frumpalicious ones out...and there gobs of those! :)
Up next, pix of Molly with her first Christmas tree! She sat in her Bumbo seat so well tonight...watched some Blue's Clues with Levi...got fussy so I took her out to prep her for bed and she had poo smeared right up her back. Needless to say, she got a nice warm bath before she hit the hay. It was so cute though because when I pulled her poop-encrusted shirt off, I had to do it in such a way that it was kinda rough and she giggled like I've never heard her giggle..she thought we were playing. She's my chubby dolly (thanks for the cute nickname, Brittany). She is so darn sweet and good natured, like her big sis Mel was, and still is! I am so blessed with nice, cool, caring, cute, fun kids. I want to bottle up these stages of each of their lives! awww, man. I'm getting all choked up.
Ok, well, I will post the pix of her and the tree Tuesday daytime...I've gotta either hit the hay or watch a movie with my studmuffin, who just got home from work at 12:15 a.m. Happy Anniversary, Schweetheart! You're a Gift from God!

Happy 14th Anniversary, David Dear

Thanks for taking this cool pic, Matt
Dec. 30, 2006
13 years of marriage under our belts here, though
it's been years since I've worn a belt.

yikes. just plain yikes. check out E's beard and 'stache
Laurie lookin' like Wynonna and David w/Will's fox head on him

Saturday, November 27, 1993, I became Mrs. David Franklin what's his name and he tied on the ol' ball and chain. I still can't get over how fast the past 14 years has gone. It's kinda sad in a way but also kinda cool. does that make sense? I've always imagined myself as a wife and a mother...so in that sense, I'm doing exactly as I had hoped and as I had prayed. I am so thankful for the incredible husband that the Lord has given me. We have made it thru some pretty iffy times, there have been times that he hasn't liked me or I haven't liked him but we've stuck together and will keep on keeping on. Love is an act of the will, a commitment...not an easy, flowery deal or feeling (don't those feelings leave quickly? yes ma'am, yessir)...it sure beats being alone. I am so thankful to have this man to trudge through the hard, scary days of raising kids and hoping you aren't scarring them too badly. I am so glad that he isn't afraid to discipline our kids and tell them why and hug them, tell them he loves them, spend time with them and if he can't do something that involves the kids, he usually won't do it (unless it's a date with me, a rarity), he is forming their character, helping them to get over themselves before they end up as a twenty-something whiner and crier. (he's still working on me though) I am glad he isn't afraid to stand up for what is right and for Christ! Thank you for your testimony, David. You are a blessing to me. I have some more pix to post! lucky you!

Ok, here are some harvest party highlights...and some serious Laurie babbling. You've been warned!

David does a good hippie, ay?
Pinata action...led by the hippie dude
Nick and Natalie: Magician and his bunny from
his hat trick....how cute and original??

We caught us a mermaid (Nora)... Piper in the catwalk show...as Princess Aurora aka Sleeping Beauty....

I really didn't take as many pix as I should've...I'm such a loser that way....:) Nora and Molly had the same costume but I didn't put Molly in hers at all that night. She slept thru most of the event. I was a Goth (no picture to prove that though)...my friend Sherry was as well but she has forbidden me from posting her pic....and being the good, obedient friend that I am, have obeyed..for now. The party was great though...thanks to all who participated! You know who you are..

Will was a cowboy, E. was a WWII soldier, Mel was a mini-Goth, and Levi was supposed to be a monkey but wouldn't keep his garb on! Again, really no pix to prove any of that and yes, you can harass me about that...I get too overwhelmed in moments like these and lose control.

right now, it's 12:45 a.m. I should so totally be in bed. We have a crazy busy day with speech club and hanging with some awesome friends etc but here I sit. I've been going through albums, reminiscing like the nerd that I am. Just getting myself all verklempt, thanking the Lord for the rich blessings He has given to me...and it overwhelms me to think how good He has been to me over the years of my life. (I'm getting so choked up right now...the Nat King Cole song I have on repeat, "Stardust", does not help my melancholy mood)...I have such an awesome family, Mom, Dad, Tom, Andy and his crew, my sister, who I would truly be lost without and just can't fathom how other women go with out a close relationship with their sisters...her family, the good, God-fearing folks (friends and fam alike) that we know and love. Man, it is just too much! I have one rockin' hubby, we will celebrate 14 years of marriage on Nov. 27, and just how good he is to his children and I! Yeah, he's intense and all that deep stuff, but such a source of encouragement and strength for me!! He is a kick butt dad too. It's too much for this peanut head to comprehend. and then my kids??? o my gosh. little walking pieces of heaven right here on earth. I take them so totally for granted and I pray the Lord forgives me for that and gives me the strength to overcome my selfish ways. I need to stop being such a yeller. waaaaaaaaaaaaaa I could so go on here but will not. I want you to keep coming back.....:)

I want to encourage you, whoever you are, to love (an act of the will, selfless) your family, love your friends, tell them how much they mean to you. and then, like I need to do, quit taking them for granted and show them just how much they truly mean to you, even when it's not convenient or easy. Quit snipping at them (I'm talking to myself here). Words and tones can be so painful. mood swings are so painful...I know. I do it DAILY! you can see the hurt on their faces when it spews out...ouch. venom to the soul. puts a damper on pretty much everything.

Sorry for the sermon. not really. it's my blog though so deal with it...you know I love y'all. All of this came from wandering down memory lane and visiting our wedding albums and listening to this Nat song, it's from Sleepless in Seattle (which was out the summer before we wed and I listened to this album when I was living in D's parents basement, missing my fam back here etc blah blah blah), when Tom Hanks is missing his dead wife and she is suddenly there on their couch...this song is playing. It's a classic...man, can this dude sing. over and over too. ( I have that soundtrack on as well as AOL radio).

Life is too short, soak it up...before you know it, your kids will be 13 like my big boy...it's spiraling away from me. Where did that newlywed 20 year old girl go?? I can't find her. (Plus she was a size 9 back then, so that is quite confusing....)

Good night, one and all. Thanks for letting me unload. Beck, hope your 3rd day back in the workforce is the best yet...hey, it's HUMP DAY!! I can't believe I haven't seen you yet this week. Happy Wednesday y'all!! (now on Radio AOL, Johnny Mathis is singing "Misty"....I'm gettin' misty) gotta run to bed before I get goin' again....ahhhhhhhh. peace.