Friday, January 13, 2012

winds of change....what's that smell?

I know, I know...that was just bad...

I am in the midst of changing things up a bit...doing some things to "improve my situation". Not that my situation is all that bad...but I'm not taking super good care of myself...

One of the things that I'm doing is getting a hair cut on Tuesday. No color...just cut. Beck and I will be doing the "at-home color experiment" again and I'm sure I will take some pix of that because I know you out there in cyberland will just be dying to know how this will go. Hang tight. It's sure to be a good time...

Now, this picture up above...I'm not a fan of Ms. Aniston...but she is always so pretty and her hair is always so wonderful...and is it just me, or is she looking her age FINALLY too?? whew....don't get me wrong, on her old days and such, she will always APPEAR physically more superior than me...and that's ok.

why did I say all of that?

I'm not sure...such a dingbat, really.

haircuts, and taking my health seriously - it's what's for dinner, folks.

In other news - my parents are enjoying their time down south and we are looking forward to our trip down very soon. We miss you, Jim and Joan. we really's weird to think you aren't 30 minutes away.

yesterday was the 28 week mark since Jack flew home to Jesus...I almost crashed (good thing I was on old country roads, by myself) the car, sobbing for our boy. wishing to have seen his eyes... waves of grief. even still. waves of grief in a sea of why. God is in control...say it with me...God knows and holds my every tear.

David is down in French Lick today. It snowed here a little bit. The cold finally arrived and quite frankly, I'm ready for spring. Granted, I will try not to whine as much as I did last winter (forgive me Jack) but I truly believe that the older I get, the more I dislike this stuff. Maybe growing up in MI helped me to get here sooner. My southern friend, Tambo, loves this stuff. I chalk that up to her southern roots!! it works.

Mel is going tubing in Cincy tomorrow. That makes me nervous. She is excited. Will is driving more and more, he and Ethan drive themselves to class. So weird. They even drove themselves to our dentist yesterday (no CAVITIES!! boo yah!) and then home. I'm loving it but still, it's true...having kids means your heart is walking around outside of your body. This is never more true than when they start to drive. Right Mom?

Levi is awesome...he really is. He grows and blossoms more every day. He exercises every other day and really does well with math. I'm sure that will change when he gets older.

Molly keeps on tinkling in her pants. it's kinda weird. and stinky. she will love that I posted this someday. ha ha. o well...she's simply adorable though.

Uh oh...I'm going to get deep've been warned...

I see so many people struggling all around me. I do too. One of the clearest things I'm learning since Jack's tragic, brutally painful death is that it doesn't take much to lose focus...but it doesn't take much to get your focus back either...I am fighting for JOY...and I'm trying to keep my eyes turned toward Jesus Christ. If I start to recall that June day, I panic a little...and I have to verbally remind myself to put myself at Jesus' feet...we lose focus in the everyday things like fighting kids, money being spent quickly, gas prices, what this person or that person said on FB, whatever....we want to drown our sorrows in booze, or treating our loved ones, kids like crap, or coffee, or this sport or that person or activity....when what we really need to do is turn our eyes upon Jesus. Those things are temporary fixes...let me just encourage you to take your eyes off of yourself and point your face toward something bigger, something more powerful and redeeming.

Praying for Thao Nardoni today...check out his page on Facebook...Thao Nardoni Updates...this little boy is five and is fighting for his life.

I weep...

Happy three day weekend...hug the ones you are blessed to be around...cherish them. Watch your mouth, sing praise, pray, smile when you feel like frowning, get over  yourself. (listen up, Laurie)


Anonymous said...

So much sadness, yet so much fun eluded to in this blog. Fun, yes fun: 1) at-home color experiment; 2) tubing; and 3) trips to the gulf coast. Certainly hope that you have lots of fun.


The Rogers Family said...

You are such an inspiration to others! Keep your chin up and rejoice in the fact that JOY is dancing in the streets of gold and helping our creator prepare and build the mansion he will live with you in one day...put that picture in your mind and you'll smile...hugs! looking forward to seeing you Monday!

Tashena said...

I knew I wanted to check in our your blog, but I didn't know the Lord wanted me to! It is amazing, still, how He uses YOU to work on ME! You are more of a blessing to me than you will EVER EVER know. I wish I could only find a few words to express that. Guess that'll have to do.

I, too, weep - as I type to you tonight. My heart wrenches, my guts churn, my arms ache to hug you and squeeze a little tighter. I, too, wish Jack was here. How Kade would love to have a play buddy. But, as Mrs. Rogers, said, Jack is dancing on gold - and oh, how the butterflies must flutter at his fingertips. Such a sweet, yet painful, thought.

I am sorry, again, for your loss. I wish I could just bring a little of him back - to smell, to see, to touch.
Sorry, for some reason tonight, this whole JOY thing seems so difficult. And he's not even my son. BUT, he is a BLESSING to me.

Guess I'll call it quits for now. The screen is rather blurry thru the tears...and I should be in bed anyway. (6 comes WAY too soon!)

Love you dearly!!!