Friday, August 19, 2011

a little Molly Moo, Levi and a garden too.

Jack's Garden...I. love. this. place. I love that there is a little piece of his life buried here...even if it is the cord that caused him to not be here. mostly. why isn't that sinking in?
I will definitely be posting pix as we progress...I'm just trying to get the plants into the earth. Not sure when we will be leveling it, getting the landscape blocks around it. A definite work in progress...Mary Helen brought some butterfly weed and echinacea. Tambo gave me some Russian Sage, butterfly pic with the glowing marble and the butterfly bush smack dab in the center, which is over the placenta, Jodi gave me some Foxglove, the Ochoa's and Greenhill's gave us the angel and yellow miniature roses, Mary gave us the JOY stone....Grandma G gave me the Butterflies welcome pick, Beck gave the Angel ornament hanging from the solar light that Always remember you are loved....Can't wait to get it mulched and enclosed. A bench will be there eventually. If you have something you want to have planted, or plant yourself, you are welcomed to.

wild and crazy guy...

Molly crashed at the table at last weekend's reunion.

Lady Molly woke bright eyed and purple bushy tailed the next day. (name tags were for Prince Ryan of Tobey-Logan's 1st birthday. Dragon, castle, knights, ladies and kings and queen themed party)

I had to change that last blog post because on my keeps showing up and sometimes it makes my belly hurt to see that cute little boy who is not here with me, in the flesh. I'm just mostly not ok with that. He should be here. Lord Jesus, please tell JOY that I miss him and love him. deeply.

Ok, well, all that say well, I'm not sure what I want to say...hope you have a lovely weekend...hope to be back with more later on. I think I need coffee...which, thanks to my lovely cousin, Tory, I got a Sbux Via in the mail today. How cool is she? very cool. I tipped back a mug with you, dear....thank you so much for thinking of me. You just have to know what that does to my soul and spirit.

Much love to you all...


Smooches, Kara said...

Take your time with that garden. Let it be a process. A healing process. Let it be the place you can go to and DO something for Jack. I know it gets hard to have a finished picture in your head and not be able to immediately see it. But it needs to move slowly just like your healing will. I love you and I love that garden!!

Tory said...

Am loving the rhyme and the shout out. You are totally awesome. You know that, right? Of course, I love the pix, and your garden is most awesome and creative. I am amazed at just how strong you are, and how you allow for each of us to be part of this. Saw many more JOY butterflies this weekend, and I laughed and cried. You know, your favorite...laughter through tears. How I would love to meet all of your offspring, but meeting Jack would have enabled me to meet one of your beautiful babies. Mom tells me that she has seen most of the kiddoes, and may have even seen Moo. Me? Haven't seen a one, but I feel like I would know them on the street if I ever saw them. ;) Hope that you are having a good August, cousin. Oh, and we had fresh salsa this weekend...still have some for Moo's breakfast. Hugs, t

Tory said...

p.s. sbux is nothing in comparison with that beautiful cake that you shared a picture of awhile ago. was that cake as heavenly as it looked?

Laurie and company said...

thanks, Kara...a beautiful picture you will change over time, like my healing, and my life. I love you, dear cousin.
Tory...that cake WAS out of this world good. not just pretty that is true. I will tell Moo that you have saved her some salsa. I bet that would taste good with the Push-Up that she is eating for breakfast today (picking my battles today). I just couldn't love you more...even though you are geographically far from me, I feel very close and loved by you! means so much to me. you too, Kara. happy Tuesday to two of my favorite gals!

Tory said...

Second PS: I was in Hallmark today looking at the clearance merch, and what do you think that I saw? Baby scrapbooks, more specifically, baby boy scrapbooks...I was bending over, and I felt the need to drop to my knees and just weep. Then, I was at the store, Tuesday Morning, where they had these cute little baby Christmas socks and butterfly ornaments. Oh, I really don't know how you do it. I never knew that I could shed so many tears for a little boy that I never met, or for a family that I haven't seen but in pix. But, God keeps showing me a glimpse into your life, and just how strong you really are. You ROCK! It truly humbles me to see you handle this with such grace and peace.

Oh, a push-up, that sounds good, but tell Moo that I think that a fudgesicle for breakfast is a better choice...I think that it may have some calcium. ;) And, if there are none in the freezer, tell her that hershey's syrup and sweetened condensed milk make for some good homemade pops in a pinch. Hahaha...I would even let her eat cake...after all, it's got eggs!

Tory said...

Ok, so I cannot stop crying, but I cannot close your window with the picture and the music! I know, you say, "what's wrong with her, and why is she stealing all of my tears...she's nuts". But, I really didn't think that this could happen. Then, I think what would Jack be doing right now and would it be bloggable...Oh, I am a basket case. Sorry to be know, over the top.

Laurie and company said...

ohhh, Tory, you're going to make me cry, you sweet thing are not stealing my tears at're sharing them! Thank sweet...I am actually going to go ahead and cry now. cuz I do all those same things.
I just really cannot grip that this has happened to me, to us. all of us. I sooo want to be blogging about that sweet little guy. it just seems unfair today. I ran errands by myself and I kept thinking "this is just wrong, I should be toting Jack with me, stopping to nurse now and then" and then I just got kinda mad. I want him here. so badly. When will this sink in? why? why God? what good purpose can this tragedy really serve? (I know all the answers to these questions, as much as the next person)
So, I do ok...I heal by talking about him, being sarcastic or jokey about life things but just under the surface, I'm ready to rip loose. and I do.
I've forgotten what it feels like to have him wiggling in my womb and hiccuping. I'm always ready to cry. I do.
thank you for crying with me, Tory. I love that you are so affected by this...makes me cry all the more. keep those eyeballs moistened, my dear. I love you...hugs from Indy

Tory said...

Like you, I too, "KNOW" the real answer, but you know what? It doesn't make the pain any less. Just less overwhelming. Hearing you makes me think of the promise that God won't give us more than we can handle with him; however, he doesn't promise that he won't give us hard things to handle. Oh, sobbing, now...sure wish that I had a push-up right now...I think that Moo is onto something. Hugs back atcha, t

BTW, did you hear about the East Coast earthquake? Thankfully, it wasn't damaging to us here in NC, but now, we are also bracing for Hurricane Irene. Fun times! Guess the rain can mask my tears.

wv: lonest (i am "lonest" most right now and sobbing...not a good combination...maybe, that's why i am so emotional...hahaha...thank you for letting me share your tears)