Jack's Balloon Launch (2 years in heaven) Part One

Our friend, Robin, Gma to li'l G and momma to Myssi and Mariah etc.

these pictures will probably be somewhat out of order because I'm  "lifting" them from 3 different, amazing photographers. I will try to lump the pre-launch, launch, and post-launch pics together.

Tom's perspective. love.

Momma got to go first. 

Mel and her group of good girls.

Jamie...another one of the amazing photogs and priceless friends that celebrated with us.
Sully and Jack.

My good friend, Kellie, her hubby, Joel and my sister's back side. unfortunately, Beck and I never ended up in a pic together, but it's ok. We take so many selfies, right, Dad?

Come to Jesus, and live.

David, my love.

Kurt and Betsy Pershing fam, Mancilla fam. Myssi is, by far, one of the cutest li'l preggers you will see. Such a blessing to have them (Adam is next to her) with us...that little bump brewing there? that is Greyson's little sister...remember li'l G? Baby B is due this month.

until we meet again!

so glad to have this chick with us...Cyndy...my first friend in Indy and my sister's sis in law. Love you, friend!

Ryan. precious.

Levi. adorable.

me.

all of them. amazed.

him. awesome.

Li'l G's auntie, Mariah B.

I'm only about 11 days late on this.
I'm just so inspired and amazed, thankful for the people that came out to remember Jack Oliver Young with us. I still just shake my head and praise the Lord.

I had three gifted photogs there, snapping away, making memories in their own special way. Jamie Reese, Natalie Shipman and Tom Greenhill. Three very special people to me and to my family.

just shakin' my head.

I will post more tomorrow or Saturday, or a week from now....

Thank You, Lord.

I have more pictures to blog but I think for this night, I shall turn in. Between VBS at our church this week, an unusually (ok, well it's becoming so NOT unusual) busy, crazy, chock full week with David's work/company etc etc, trying to live life and do the kid thing...I tucker out quickly at night. or say, by 4 p.m.

I need a vacation.

I sincerely hope that this finds you doing well, basking in the Lord's goodness and blessings.

Love Laurie

Birthday girl week

I hope to be back to post later. David and I are heading outta town for a quick li'l getaway. He has an early morning appointment in Lafayette so up we go!!

Enjoy these little glimpses into the life of our precious Molly Christine. She turns SIX this Tuesday and I just love looking through the past years remembering our girl.

Happy Birthday, little sprite!

JOY and peace He brings

Hi.
How are you?
I hope you are doing well.
I have something I wanna tell you.
My life changed on Thursday June 30. 2011.
I thought I was welcoming my sixth child, and I did. but not in the way that I expected.
I still, on the eve of Jack's second birthday, cannot believe that he didn't make it.

He didn't make it here...but man oh man, he's made it.

You can too. Because of Jack, my eyes were opened. really opened. to so many things, my own self most importantly.

that sounds selfishy doesn't it? what I mean though is that my eyes were opened to the condition of my heart, to my life and to just how much I wasn't living my life for Jesus.

If you knew me then, you'd say (to me anyways) "Ohhhh, but you were a Christian, you went to church...you homeschooled your kids, you prayed as a family and read your Bibles"....and on and on you could go. And I would've agreed with you back then...

so clueless.

I'm not saying that the Lord took Jack to "teach me a lesson". I won't know that here or ever, for that matter. But for whatever reason, Jack died. What a sad situation I find myself in. Yes, I weep for him regularly (like tonight for example...on the eve of what would've been his second birthday) and wonder why this happened and relive that day so many times throughout my days. Like when I cleaned out the tub he was born in, earlier today. oh man.

I do know this. I prayed for the Lord to do a work in my life, and in my heart before we even considered having Jack. It's been a very long process and it has taken some very unexpected turns but I praise Him for each painful, joyful, sorrowful, triumphant step...He is shaping me into a vessel fit for HIS use. far from perfect but looking upward each and every day.

I find myself wanting to fill my days with talk of Him. To be sure that the ones I love and call friend or family KNOW Him. really know Him. Really put off the things of this world and put on Christ. His Yolk is easy and His burden is light.

All that the world offers is death and indulgence, wickedness and denial. Selfishness and separation.
Jeremy Camp's song "Give me Jesus" has become a very important song to our family...go check it out on Playlist. Simple but profound...In the morning when I rise, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, just give me Jesus.....

Chris Rice's Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)...is Jack's song. go give that a listen too.

We have a playlist of sorts that we all use to praise and worship our Heavenly Father...Matt Redman's 10,000 Reasons (which goes along so nicely with Ann Voskamp's 1,000 Gifts). The last verse of that song, I can barely choke it out..
"And on that day, when my strength is fading, the end draws near and my time has come. Still my soul will sing Your praise unending....10,000 years and then forevermore!! FOREVERMORE! Bless the Lord, Oh my soul....Oh my soul, worship His holy name. Sing like never before, oh my soul, I'll worship Your holy name."

side note but really so not a SIDE note!! >>>isn't it just so cool to know that my little boy is in the presence of his Creator and Heavenly Father?? and that one day, I will be with both of them. he's probably met Keith Green, Jim Elliott, my relatives, Pastor Mills, Tim, Ramie,  Lydia, Boston, Savannah, SULLY, and so many others!! that blows my MIND!

My direction is moving forward...I'm being shaped and molded by the Lord Jesus Christ. it's a little bit painful. but totally worth it.

Tomorrow, I will recall that sweet sweet boy....I will smells smells and recall steps and shock, the feeling of being HELD and on holy ground. I will rejoice that, though I wish he'd stayed, He is such a lucky lil ducky to not have to endure splinters, spankin's, Obama, fights, tears, Molly...I could keep going.

At six p.m., Sunday June 30, 2013, we will be meeting at Forest Lawn, at Jack's spot...to release balloons. I suspect we will do this every year. I also suspect that we will have different people over the years. I probably won't cry there because, as I did last year, I've cried enough this week, and tonight, to make up for crying on the spot.

When the balloons are released and we've all cried and sniffed and said goodbye to Jack's lil spot...we will head back to our house for some refreshments, hang time and swimming if it's not raining or chilly. If you can make it, we'd love to have you. If you can't, it's totally understandable.

Thank you for letting me ramble on and on here...thank you for visiting my blog and for encouraging me in the ways that you do. I consider it a great treasure.

I will be back later with pictures and more chopped up thoughts.

Happy night before your 2nd birthday in Heaven, little Jack the Bear. We miss you so so so much!

Because of your life, my life is richer, deeper, more purposeful...

the little boy that follows me..

in reference to the above title...I found a story on one of the babyloss sites I visit...written by a mom of a little boy who left...and it's sad, precious and somewhat hopeless. If left to my own devices, I would wallow more...and somedays I do...but I am anchored in HOPE.

This picture was taken on June 30, 2007...roughly nine days before Molly's arrival. oh the things we take for granted...like, living babies. I am so blessed to be the mother of six of the most amazing kids in the world. Each one so unique and chock full of memories. (YO, Big lady!!)

this was taken right before my due date two years ago...that little boy had a knot in his cord. it caused him to die. I still just can't believe it. almost 730 days later, I still just can't wrap my head around this part of my story.
We are so many days out, and most of the time, it seems like someone else's life.
If I really engage my head, I go to that place where once I'm in, I can't step back out the door.
I have to relive those sacred moments.
The sheer and utter pain that that beautiful, valiant boy, never ever took a breath outside of my womb.
and just how perfect, precious and adorable he was.
I'm a puddle on the floor when I go there....
Most of the time, I can squint and only remember tidbits.

I drive by the fire department that took him EVERY DAY.
I see an ambulance and I freeze. cry. pray.
remember.
always remember.
wonder what the EMT's were thinking.
David...as he watched them work on his clone.
I'm sure he was floating on the sacred bubble.
man.

how I couldn't wait to kiss his rib-violating feet and smell his hair and baby breath.

Man.

I can't believe it.

So these are the days that I start to really recall those days, leading up to thee day.
10 days till we launch balloons heavenward.

And all I can really do at this point is just thank the Lord for this road...and pray that because of Jack, we can encourage, lead, point others to Jesus Christ.




Help me, Jesus Christ...You're our only hope. Praying that the days to come are chock full o' hope.

up, up and away

I will blog more on this picture above at another time. but I will tell you that they are from a lovely balloon launch for an even lovelier little girl. Yesterday was Greyson's first birthday.

I'm pretty sure no parent ever wants to celebrate their baby's first birthday this way. I mean, it's a beautiful thing to do, but I know li'l G's momma and daddy would've rather watched her squash a tiny cake or toddle around all of her aunts and uncles. Please continue to pray for this family.

If you have the ability to do so, love, snuggle, cuddle and hug your babies. I hear of so many people that have to say goodbye to their kids. Why does it seem like it happens so much more often? Just more aware, or people put us in touch with other folks that have gone through a similar loss...for whatever reason, I'm thankful...I don't always (usually, ever) get it, and sometimes I feel "stronger" than other times...but mostly, just learning to trust Him more and more every day.

Thankfully, we have HOPE, which is as an anchor of the soul, sure and stedfast...Jesus Christ.

Another name I never want to be ashamed to say.

Praying for the M family
Praying for Shellee and Duane and all 10 of their li'l birdies in their nest
Praying for friends that I know are eagerly, if not anxiously, awaiting new arrivals.
Praying for special people that have encouraged and lit the way for me in this babyloss community, like Lori Clark (Matthew's momma), Jamie Reese (Sully's momma), and many, many others.
Praying for my brother, as he prepares to move his family to Indy. And for my sister, who is flying out to CA to drive back with him.
Praying for friends that I don't get to see as much as I'd like to.
Praying for my cousin in MI who stepped on a nail and needs surgery...


I could seriously go on and on. Someday, I will be able to do so, when I am old and feeble and I sit here and wait for grandkids to come and visit me, or for someone to come and feed me and take me out. Haha.

Until then, seize the day. Choose JOY. Watch what you say. Show love to the ones you are blessed enough to have. Praise the Lord.

He is worthy.

Good evening to you.

happy monday, whether we want it to be or not. Immanuel in June.

thought you'd enjoy these little treasures I found on the YFF laptop. You've got to love Photobooth. Or do you?? I know my parents will despise these pix...haha. the one right up there, with Molly and the kitty eyes....hahahahaha.

I needed a good laugh to start this week off.

For this week marks the one year anniversary of our friends' precious daughter's sudden home going. Sweet baby G left suddenly and without much explanation. You can visit Myssi's beautiful blog...on my blogroll....called Finding GEMs. There is nothing like watching another person go through this kind of loss. just nothing. Please be praying for Myssi, Adam, their family...and also the precious little sister to Baby G that is nestled safely in her momma's womb. I know they'd deeply appreciate the prayers.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone. but for some reason, God allows this to happen. We will probably never know while we walk the earth but it is sacred ground. It has opened our eyes to new things. Sometimes to more pain, sometimes to JOY but always to God and the gift of Jesus Christ.

All things become new. Things of this world fade...doesn't mean we don't want to have fun but you want to focus more on what is important. Like people, relationships and talking about Jesus, talking about your sweet child and making sure to remember our heavenly ambassadors every day. everything becomes a little bit clearer.

trying not to pine to be there with them.

this Thursday marks Jack's 100th  Thursday. not like I'm counting or anything.

Which brings me to his balloon launch on Sunday, June 30th, 2013. We are having it out at his spot again...and we are letting go of balloons again, asking people, if they come, to bring their own balloons. 6:00 pm at Forest Lawn. and hoping to release them at 6:08, which is his time of birth, though I've never seen any documentation on his birth (that reminds me).

If you want to join us, we'd love to have you. We will then proceed to our house for refreshments and swimming. Anyone is welcomed to join us, just let me know.

I'm getting more and more behind on my blog...so many things to update, like Shellee's new baby boy and David, Will, Ethan, Adam, Jonathon and Jacobi's camping trip, Mel's trip as a middle school co-counselor at camp last week, her 15th birthday, the continued pool debacle of 2013...ahhhhh. I just totally overwhelmed myself....

so on that note, here's to another chock full week (where did my lazy summer go??)

On your marks, get set, go!

so the lazy days begin...

gotta love the A Beautiful Mess app for iPhone.

After a long day of bike riding through the paths, nooks and crannies of Fort Wayne, we spent some time chilling and goofing off.

Just one of the little stops along the way...

This was Sunday morning at the Display Gardens on the campus of IPFW. Such a cool campus with trails and cool places like this.

scarfing the Panda Express leftovers.

Display Garden love

Having our tank emptied. ewww.

Molly loving her little Jack Bear. (the bear that we got with his casket)

I don't know if these are the lazy days or not...they don't feel too lazy to me.

In the summer months, ya feel like ya wanna make the most of your daylight hours, and there are a lot of 'em, yes? from sun up to sun down and beyond...we are going going going.....

Will, Ethan and Mel spent last weekend (a yearly event now) in Danville, IL with their Aunt Nat, Uncle Nick, Ryan and Sophie. David just happened to have our camper up in Ft. Wayne again, like he did last year, so the four of us made the trek up there for Sat-Mon. I will admit, it's nice to just be the four of us but it does lend some strange feelings and a sense of helplessness because I realize just how much the 3 big kids ROCK and help out. and encourage...and keep me going and hold me accountable. Molly and Levi, if left to their own devices, bicker and bug the tar out of each other...

We had a wonderful time...though poor David's allergies were beating him up pretty badly...as well as some things he has on his plate with work and the Bricklayer's Union. (don't get me started on that one)
We ate at Panda Express every evening because you can get a totally Trim Healthy Mama kinda meal...meat and steamed veggies....and those chow mein noodles are scrum-diddly-umptious. (though David and I left more of those for the young'uns.) We asked the littles every night what they'd like to eat and they never ever seemed to mind our suggestion to eat at the Panda again. good kids.

Monday, upon our return, we had a fun li'l gathering here at Young Manor...my parents, my bro Tom, my sis Beck and her family, John and Sherry, Christie Kitchen and her 3 kids, and the kids' friend, Mati, all descended on our place for some grilled tasties, famous Mac n Cheese of Beck's, root beer floats and other summertime delights.

The kids will be doing their school throughout the summer for many reasons but a few of the main ones are as follows:

~we like to keep it fresh and stay at it all year long.
~we never really  have caught up from having Molly in 2007, ya know?
~then you add Jack's death and heck, I may never recover fully from that...to be honest.
~the pursuit of knowledge is never ending. ha ha.

We have birds trying to make nests in our upstairs porch and why that bugs me? I dunno...I appreciate the concept of birds but in reality, they poop all over my porch and chirp at us incessantly if we try to enjoy our porch...we were here first, dumb birds. I've decided I only like birds in stamps or on cards or in decoration...not in real life. (I type this right now because as I sit here, I can here them chirping, which means they are bringing more loot to make nests but watch out....I'm coming!!)

My goals for this summer:
~make a slew of cards for JOY ministries...to keep up with events and encouragement of loved ones and young moms.
~lose weight.
~get really good at being a homemaker. It's not wrong to have that goal after almost 20 year of marriage, is it??
~learn to be more like Jesus...the things of and in this world pale in comparison to a life completely devoted to him...the world offers NOTHING. nada. zip. To be merciful and loving, compassionate and strong like Him. Pleased to say that I have been consistently spending time in prayer and in His Word every morning (mostly) and if I miss, I don't go to bed till I spend this valuable time. It really is the best way to find out how to be more like Him.
~make sure I cry every day (and I do) because tears soften my stony heart. 2 years ago, I cried but for selfish reasons. Now I cry because, sometimes I am selfish, but mostly because I want to see the world and the people around me with Christ-like eyes. I thank Jack for this change. and if you see me hesitating, it's only because I'm praying or crying...

On that note, I'm outta here...I have a curtain to make for my lower level door. (I love that my sissy sews!!)

Peace and JOY!

I have so much catching up to do, it isn't even funny...

Please forgive the complete neglect here....I'll admit, springtime is my busiest time...what with getting everything around here unwinterized and such...I always dream of it, all winter long and then once spring hits, I get completely overwhelmed with all that is involved.

I need to really catch my breath and choose joy. Not freak out about things...I tend to do that very easily.

breathe....

and then I freak everyone out around me...this is one of my thorns...pure freakoutishness. forgive me loved ones.

Ok, well...I don't even know where to begin with updating...so I will start with last weekend, when Will had the honor of attending the Center Grove High School Prom with his friend, Hayley K. We went to her house to take pictures of the beauteousness and bask in their youth...Hayley's parents, Bud and Kim, graciously funded the event (did you know that tuxedo rental has gone up to $200??? I almost died, but Will then told me that they were going to cover it. wow. cool)

They then went to another friend's house to take pics of the entire gaggle of couples that they'd be promming with. I don't have any of those pictures but they are on FB. He was with a really nice group of people. They all converged on a restaurant downtown (the name escapes me currently) and then proceeded to Union Station for the dancing festivities.  Will also happened to "run" into the young gentleman that he'd had a fender bender with just a few days before. haha. oh, that is a blog post for another day. or not.

After Union Station, they went to Rascal's Fun Zone till 2 a.m. Will had a really wonderful time. Thank you, K family, for asking him to go along and making it an evening to remember.

The other pics up there are of crazy E and his garden. Molly took the pix of him kissing his tater plants. He has really amazed us this year...in so many ways, but this garden?? wow...Uncle John and he are working on it and my dad helps out with advice and plants also. What an experience...there is gardening on both sides of E's heritage so this is a beautiful thing to see. Collard greens, radishes, okra, corn, tomatoes, squash (eventually) and many other things that I can't remember currently...I am sure we will update here frequently.

I really need to sit here and do a blog post on the amazing Craft Liberation I was a part of exactly 3 weeks ago...I have a few pix on my cam and most of them are on FB...All I can say, right now, is that it was an incredible honor to be a part of The Lemondime/Kellie Nowacki's first event...so until that post, hang tight.

In other news, May is half way over, soccer ended today, Mel is getting ready to turn 15. I can't help but think of that little boy who didn't stay but will always be with us...this time, two years ago, I anxiously waited for him. (I still just cannot believe how freaked out scared I was. I should've known. I just should've) The sights and smells of this time of year come flooding back....the floods of tears. I find it hard to swallow that he would be nearing two...I weep for him still. not every day, but I guess when you round it out, and I have a heavy weepy day, it evens out...not a day goes by where he isn't in my thoughts and dreams.

I want to celebrate that little boy not just for who he was but for how his short, precious life brought such change to my life and the lives of my family members. We will have another balloon launch on Sunday, June 30 at 6:10 pm. It's a bring your own balloon kinda thing...it's a whoop and holler, thank the Lord for the gift of sight kinda thing. We will also have another low key, swim, eat kinda thing back at the ranch, anyone is welcomed to join us. please do. Do it for Jack. Do it because God is good, even in the hurt. Do it because people are so much more important than anything else...

on that note, I shall turn on the grill and prepare to cook some angus dogs for the gigantic brood of teenagers that is at my house. It's the 3 bigs' bi-monthly young person Bible study...such an awesome thing to witness....ahhhhh.

Hope your weekend is swell....hope to get back here much quicker to keep y'all updated and stuff.

Love to all..