hide your camera from your kids, part...who knows.

someone, ahem, has discovered my camera. 'tis not a very flattering photo, little one.

I love that my big boys have passed on their love of all things Lego to their younger sibs.
They're so good at it, that they build with Levi and Moo and then take pix of their creations.
my heart swells.

There's even a church in Legoland.

drawbridge n stuff.

oh my stars! this is where my kids' pix end and mine start....

We had Nora last Wed while Beck took Pipes to the doc for her injured arm (she's fine. she has learned NOT to ride the scooter, in high heels, on the wood floor. it's a lose/lose sitch)
All that to say, we broke out the crafts that I bought for my kids LAST Christmas, for the kids to work on.
Here we have those snazzy little window suncatchers.
note to self: pay attention to the 6+ age suggestion. 

The BEAN and her suncatcher!! so cute!!

it really is a good thing that the "babies" are so darn cute.

Levi did a bang up job on his space ship sun catcher!
Go boy!

What's gonna work??   teamwork!

my delicious new HYBRID countertop and new stainless sink and snazzalicious faucet.

I may or may not need a brace. I dunno.
These are my new Mizuno shoesies. isn't it amazing how flexible I am? har har
I wanted my readers to be able to see the sheer awesome pink and greenish yellow goodness that is my shoes.

E and his little shadow.
They've been going on some really cool nightly adventures outside. Tonight's adventure was getting the baby possum out of our window well. ewww.

while all of my darling children were reading or drawing or preparing for movie night, I had THIS to look forward to.
I'm getting back on the Run Your B*tt Off program. Running is truly the best cardio and I have been slacking a bit lately. So I'm back in the saddle again.
I even got 2.50 miles in and my strength session for Monday. whew!
gross.

here are my artistic children. yes, Mel is wearing lumberjack gear.
I don't get her sometimes.
but she's pretty.
and oh so sweet.

So ya know, I have all of these "great" thoughts I wanna blog about, all thru the day.

And when I sit down to blog, all reason just flies out the window and I forget what I wanted to blog about. I truly do believe that I have some sort of memory issue. The repercussions of grief will always be present and not knowing which stage or "feeling" will be next challenges me.

I know this:

God is good. He is worthy of my trust and praise. He is faithful and His mercies are new EVERY morning. I trust Him and I know He holds my future. I have been washed by the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ.

That's about all I know.

The thought that is on replay in my mind is this (and I wonder it for myself just as much)....why can't we be even a jot as merciful as He is? I want people to be that way with me but I don't even attempt to be that way to others.

that is just a li'l snippet of what's going on with me. there is so much more but I can only blog so much...

My eldest son is one week, seven days, a little over 168+ hours from becoming an adult, a registered voter, EIGHTEEN. talk about a blubbering, nostalgic fool. that'll be me.

just wanted to warn you.

thanks for stopping by. thanks for caring. for praying. for sticking by me. it means a lot to me.

a little walk down memory lane

not sure where E was here....

binky mouth. 

baby face

I love my girls.

...since I've been pretty horrible about taking pictures...

I always like looking back thru my iPhoto because wow, it's amazing how much the people around you can change in a matter of months and you don't even really realize it. I mean, look at Ethan in the pic right up there....If you just met him and I told you he used to be short and round, you may laugh because now?

He is tall and thin...hardly recognizable except for his distinct dark head, brows and round face! I might add, he is going to be one handsome dude...just as I had predicted. One of my favorite features of Ethan is his large hands! When he was born, he had big hands and feet and I always used to tell people that he would be a big guy...just look at this hands, I'd say, holding them (his hands) up! Can I call it or what? his hands are amazing. That's probably why I married David...he has really great hands. forget his stellar personality...lookit those HANDS! ha ha. I kid.

I am formulating a post on hands...I'm a hand person. (even though mine are slightly arthritic and manly!) Hands are pretty much the first thing I notice on people...and eyes. but I have a hard time making eye contact sometimes. why? I dunno. Hands are safe and say so much about a person. so, all that to say, stay tuned for my upcoming Hands POST. it will come with a challenge to do your own hand post or scrapbook page or whatever it is that you enjoy doing...to highlight a feature that you love.

I think I am home for most of this day, with just Levi and Molly, as David, Will, Ethan and Mel are in MI as he attends a meeting at a hospital in our hometown ish area to install his HYBRID flooring, maybe, possibly? praying that he does because that would ensure some good visits with my family and our other loved ones up there! Gotta do some prep for our 3rd grade Johnny Appleseed day at White River Home Educators tomorrow (I will be SURE to take pix of that, yo!)....

Another fun ongoing project that may or may not get done someday but will be showcased here? the classroom project...moving much slower than I want it to but we were working on the countertop/new sink install last week...it may take me a few minutes to work up the resolve to get going on the project again. It seems like life is such a project these days. When morning hits, I struggle to get going again. Not because I'm not truly thankful to my Heavenly Father for the day but because each day seems to bring such challenges...I guess I will thank Him that I'm healthy and tackle day head on.

easier said than done.

Be back later, taters.
much love <3 br="br">

Benjamin Harrison, Here we come!

buncha little hobo's outside the presidential mansion, field trip with our homeschool group on Monday, Sept 24, 2012

Molly led the way to the basement of the BHH....the stairs in this house were pretty steep. and narrow.

Playing the surveyor's game with David, in the orange shirt...he told us a lot about the times of Ben's Grandpa, William, who was an Indiana Governor and president of the US for about....5 minutes.

This is where I found Jack this day...
I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, sweet little boy!

the lovely, albeit rather spooky staircase....such an elegant home!

This is the spot that Ben Harrison stood to make his nomination or acceptance or victory speech...I can't remember but back in those days of no iPods, Internet, TV, radio or quick travel, folks had to make do where they were. So he made his speech at his home.

Such a cool place and whatta porch! I could dig it!

I do hope you enjoy the above pictures from our crazy mad adventure to the Benjamin Harrison Home in Downtown Indy...I will admit, unlike my beautiful sister, I LOVE HISTORY. I like moving forward too, kinda, but mostly, things that have happened are so safe, because they've already occurred. Like my history, for example, looking back, I know that I can survive some pretty freakin' painful experiences and come thru, not necessarily unscathed but different and more open-eyed. Hopefully, more empathetic and wise too...ok...that is all I'll say on history.

An at home day...getting caught up on laundry, which never seems to get caught up these days, with soccer and such. I will choose JOY.

Just finished my exercise/worship time.
My parents came down to bring Gumbo.
David had a meeting with the union auditor today to go over benefits. Now he's at his shop.
Lanny, a plumber guy that helped us with the water heater, is working on our
new kitchen sink.
Ethan is currently reading with Levi in the living area.
Molly is wearing a skirt. She is exceptionally cute today.
Will is now with his dad at the Young Final Finish shop. He got new Converse last night.
Melanie is working on Biology and Lit/Comp, which seem to be taking
over her life...ahhhhh! She is growing even lovelier every day...if that's possible.

Andy Williams died Tuesday night. I'll admit, he's one of my all time faves in the classic old singers. I know he hasn't sounded like the man of golden pipedness for a looooong time but somehow just knowing that he was still among the living brought silly comfort to this ol' ninny (me). I've been listening to his music on and off all week.

In other news, I'm working on the Johnny Appleseed enrichment that Beck and I are leading for the 3rd graders next Thursday...I've got some good plans rolling around in my ding dongy head.

In yet other news, I have lots of thoughts in my head, as it is that nostalgic time of year that always gets to me (along with spring, and late winter. and maybe the dog days of summer. ha ha) Lots of things I'd like to say or share but won't. Lots of changes that are good and some that are painful or hard to understand...but all in God's great plan for my life. I trust Him.

I know He's in control.

I'll be seeing you....(that song is on Pandora right now. it makes me miss Jack so very much. "I'll be looking at the moon, but I'll be seeing you")

This is "being held"

We were trying to get out and enjoy the beautiful weekend...and boy was it. So, while waiting for Mel to arrive back at church, the remainders of us made a quick li'l visit to Independence Park, a local fave. I got to glimpse this, which I will never tire viewing.

Forgive me, Will. I didn't get a pic of just you because you and Dad kept having those in-depth convo's and it was just hard to get you looking chilled. Work talk takes it outta even you! 

I don't remember what I was "fist-pumping" but it was NOT my hair do. I'm trying to grow my hair out and it's taking forever! I was probably fist pumping pumpkin spice coffee or the amazing clouds on this day, which reminded me of Jack and all of his friends who are waiting for us in Gloryland. 

David and I usually share a venti whatever. I'm sure he loves my Burt's Bees colored chap stick on our mutual drink.

They can be the best of friends and the worst of enemies...but enemies never lasts for too long.

What do you imagine when you see clouds this magically poofy?
Now, I imagine sweet baby Jack, with his beautiful, crazy brown hair, kicking around on them.
I could be totally off but hey.

The clouds on this Sunday, Sept 23 were loverly.
I notice them so much more now.
Thank you, Jack.
I still have to blog the cloud pix, from high above in the sky, that my dear Jamie, sent me from her recent get away.

Good Wednesday Evening...this time next week, it'll be October already.
Right now, we are being attacked by gnats/fruit flies inside and weird flies outside. I love this time of year but kinda despise the weird bugs that emerge...spiders, roaches, flies, gnats, lady bugs. ick.

Bees are dying by our door. I stepped on one last night, not realizing he was dying in our doorway and the bugger stung me. I didn't like that. but I'm ok. thanks for asking.

These are the days of "being held". What is that exactly? I'm finding out...
We are coming up on what would've been Jack's 15 month birthday. i was going thru pix the other day and found pics of my last living boy child, Levi. He was such an interesting boy...chubby, laid back, slightly muppety, tonguey. I found myself wondering if Jack Oliver would've resembled Levi...I mean, he had three big brothers he could have imitated...can you imagine? THREE.

and he didn't make it. I had some really harsh recall of his delivery today and it brought me to tears as I drove (never good). as soon as I dried it up a bit, Natalie Grant's song, Held, came on the radio. what timing....

Held
Natalie Grant

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
Were asking why this happens to usWho have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held


When I first heard this song back in the fall of 2005, my life was totally different. Four kids, working hubby, homeschooling, low key on the friend/busyness front, in a dead church....blah blah blah...
It has a whole new meaning to me now....and to think I thought I was being held back then (I was but man, what I took for granted....)
Living thru family situations, yes, they are hard. but enduring what happened on that Thursday evening in June of 2011, whew. 

I look back on that and shudder. I was on the cusp of something big and there were no trumpets or heavenly representatives (that I could see), airplane banners across the sky....nope. Just me and my family of almost 8.

I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for the things He is teaching me. I may never know, this side of heaven, how this all goes down but as the stilts and the things that I call dear to me here are knocked out from underneath me, I am clinging more and more to my Savior. He is my Rock and my Fortress, my Comforter and the only thing that makes sense in this life.

I really didn't plan to get all mushy but seeing those pix up there of my beautiful living blessings and knowing the trials I've been thru makes the fight for them all the more important. 

I'm outta here and hope that this finds you well, healthy and enjoying a delicious autumn. 
be back soon...

I think tomorrow is week 65 but honestly, I'm counting 30's now. I miss you, little boy. i know you know that.

a little ketchup

Molly and Nora have two of the best coaches....Will and Ethan are their coaches this season. 

cute but attitudinal.

Molly, shoving. she's a very hands on player.

Nora is a natural. 

ahhhh, IKEA.

I could seriously spend a day or two getting lost inside IKEA. This sink will be mine. someday.

some of the guys on the balcony.

This was our suite...it was a loft. pretty darn neat, if I do say so myself.

Ethan wanted his pic with this neat bear 

a little temper tantrum...she's been having these a lot lately...and it's not pretty.

Helmet head. yup, she's on the counter, again!

I always feel like, somebody's watching me....and I have no privacy, whoa -o- whoa

my female children

goofs

I had hoped to get a blog post much sooner today. But alas! Here I am now...it's taken a while to get pix uploaded tonight...ugh!

I have been home ALL DAY!

It feels so. good.  a rainy, smudgy kinda day, doing school with the kids, planning for the school area, and stuff like this.

Tory, I have found a few different letters that I've started for you. I really really hope to get one out to you so soon. You are such a faithful letter writer, caring soul. I am so blessed to know you.

But as for tonight, I'm gonna close...I know this is such a poignant post but I'm exhausted and will be back with more pix and updates tomorrow or Thursday...

Good night. God Bless You!