Wednesday, August 29, 2012

14 months and a first 30th Thursday

Sorry that this won't be a chipper blog post...

I'll admit, I'm a little weepy on the eve of my first Thursday that is a 30, since that sweet boy up there, left this life and went to a much more heavenly place...Jack Oliver Young...what would you be like as a 14 month old toddler boy? Would you have that customary toddler poochy belly? would you say NO a lot? Would you still suck on a pacifier? How about a blankie-doo? Will I get to enjoy all of these mother pleasures when I die and get to be with Jesus and Jack? I know it's stupid to wonder about this stuff but honestly, it's what keeps me sane. Sometimes, even still, I just really can't fathom that this is our story...that on Thursday, June 30, 2011, I thought I was getting ready to deliver my 4th living son, when in fact, he was not. I just can't even stand it sometimes.

Glad that God sees the bigger picture and knows the plans He has for me, for us. He is gracious and compassionate, even in these moments.

I know it's been way too long since I blogged. Tory, you are so faithful, in your blog checking and in sending me letters. You know it means the world to me, even if you think you're a hot mess. You are a faithful daughter, cousin and friend. You are giving and caring. and I have two words for you: Pop Rocks. Hope that school is going excellently for you, my dear!

Christine Kinman, my sweet friend, met the Lord last Wednesday evening, Aug 22, 2012. Though I hurt for her husband and sons, I rejoice in knowing that she met her Savior, face to face, and her precious son, Marcus, and her parents....I am just so thankful that Tashena and I went to see her just 2 weeks ago....just in time, as she climbed the steps to Heaven. Her service is this Saturday, Sept 1.

School is going very well, David is busy as a bee, life is flying by at warp speed...

I hope to be back with some pix very soon...hang in there, my people. Much love


Anonymous said...

So glad to see you blogging again. Thank you for being transparent and real in your posts, it's just one of the things I love about you my friend! I've been praying for Matt and his boys. If you are able to see him, please tell him for me. Christine was just one year younger than my
Mom was when she flew to glory. I love you sweet friend! I'm not sure how it works, but I like to think that all the little ones that go onto glory too soon from our viewpoint, are right in front close to our savior, praising Him with their sweet voices.
Love, prayers and hugs,

Jamie said...

No words will really help. I'm sorry you know this pain. I so desperately hope we get to mother our babies! Love you

Anonymous said...

I'm with Shellee, I just like seeing you posting. You know, not everything has to be chipper or happy, and I love that you keep it real. It reminds me to cherish the moments. My heart hurts for you and Christine's family. Praying that each family finds comfort in the knowledge that a loving God is there to work everything together for good according to his purpose.

Many hugs and prayers from our family to yours,

Tesha said...

So very sorry it is one of those days. You are a great mama and I am sure there will be lots of mothering in Heaven. It is so true that it is hard to accept. Praying for you friend praying!