...I'm not dead yet....it's getting betta...

I know.

I know....horrible post title

Horrible neglect of my dear, dear blog.

My apologies.

I honestly don't think my life can get any busier. I long for those days of

JUST
BEING
HOME
ALLLLLLLLLL
DAY
LONG.

don't you?

This pic up above makes me hurt. Physically, mentally...that boy in there...he didn't even take a breath.

If you have babies that have taken breaths and lived, rejoice. for me, please.

If you have babies that haven't taken breaths, or didn't take many breaths, after the initial pain, shock, horror and general horribleness of it all, we can rejoice but if you can't? I get that.

Jack was so cool. What a tiny doll boy he was. That hair. his chin. His perfect little limbs, hands and feet. I remember feeling him move and how he'd do this little shake thing. I couldn't wait to see him do it out from under my flesh. I'm past feeling totally jipped (that is so not a word) about that and on to just soaking up, enjoying moments and finding JOY in little things.

We were out for classes, lessons, errands today and as we drove past Community South, I thought...Jack was there. that is the one place he visited outside of our home, outside of my belly. it doesn't smack me in the face so hard now days.

Then I got thinking..."What a cool kid he is" and what a gift he is, was, will always be. His short little life has caused me to see things so differently now. Not perfectly or completely full of understanding/wisdom/grace but so much more in that direction. I want to see the world as Jesus does.

Grace.
Mercy.
Truth.
Forgiveness.
Love.
Patience.

Thank you, Jack my boy. I miss you and let me tell you, there is a slew of babies being born all around me (thankfully, a good portion have been girls but still....) and holding Li'l G's tiny baby sis, Baby B was miraculous and mysterious and wonderful. A gift from God. (I haven't blogged about her yet but she is PRECIOUS and tiny and has a head full of beautiful ombre hair). So glad for you, Myssi and Adam. Rejoice in the Lord alway, and again, I say REJOICE!


Ok...I need to get back to the work of the day...ordering curriculum that I forgot to get, organizing what I DO have, getting the mess of a classroom in order and really, in the whole scheme of things, just wanting to take a nap. hahaha.

Don't forget to watch the Perseid Meteor show tonight....Will and I caught a few meteors late last night and THAT, my friends, is a cool thing.
Adios!