19 months

always remember.

I had grand plans to blog about a day in the life again...and also great plans for everything to be somehow glorious and bright here. (not that it really isn't...)

But we woke up to warm rain that gradually turned into cold rain and partial snow. blah. that's how my heart feels today. The wind blows coldly and it may turn me to ice.

choose joy.

Union stuff...bah humbug. is it really worth being a part of a union?
prolly not. but I won't go into that....

choose joy.

Kids did well with their tasks, duties and school today. David had a meeting and ran some errands. I saw my sister for like, 5 minutes...Ethan is working with Uncle Tom. Will took our grey van to get some work done (for our trip south but ya know.....who's bragging?? hee hee).  Mel and Will are working on voice projection and standing and singing in front of other people with the two youngers.

choose joy.

What would life have been like today, if Jack had been here...if he hadn't tied a nice li'l perfect knot into his cord, six inches from his button? He would've woken up, happy...plopped into his high chair, napped early afternoon....maybe with a runny nose or a rashy bum. What I'd give to have him here. I have been weepy today...just kinda mad but still....completely trusting that the Lord is in control and HE holds my future...because I live for Him. Everything I do is for Him.

choose joy.

Another thing I'm fighting and wondering about? When I meet someone for the first time, especially a mother, and she asks me how many kids I have...is it dishonoring to not go into "morbid" details about how I have 5 kids in my care and one in the Lord's? or what? I just have not found an easy way to do this yet. If you have any thoughts on this, I'm open to hearing them. I mean, I wear a Jack Oliver 6.30.11 ring, a Jack footprint necklace, sometimes a JOY bracelet with a charm on it....is it obvious?

so glad that He loves me in spite of me. at the end of the day, I will praise Him.

sweet little boy

I. can't. believe. you. left. us.

no.

David and his mini-me. they were so similar.

Good night. Thanks for praying today. all the time. 

I am so thankful.

P.S. Wanna know what I'm listening to RIGHT NOW?? Mel and Will, Levi and Molly singing "Thy Word is a Lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path"....I imagine Jack hovering in the corner, loving their praises.

Praise the Lord. 

Monday, Monday...ya really CAN'T trust that day.

Levi Taylor 

Molly Christine

Ethan James....working on toughening up his hands. Must be a karate thing.

David Franklin...working on work emails. Huntin' and Peckin'.

one of these days, I will figure out how to put these back in order...this should be up by Ethan's pic. 

Will Franklin...reading on his floor. He said this was comfy. He even fell asleep shortly after I took this. on his weights. nut.

Melanie Kate...I was adding Mel's Monday pic and realized that I'd be able to add a pic of myself too. how conveeeeeenient. Here, my lovely first daughter is practicing her recital piece, sure to bring some tears, for it's a moving piece...called "The Orphan". She's doing really well.

she has pink hair again.

Good Tuesday evening. If the first two week days are any indication of what the next 12 days will be like before we embark on our journey south, then it's a good thing we are heading for some R&R because this ol' gal (ME) is plum tuckered.

I have a lot of catching up to do...I tried to blog these pix yesterday but blogger has been extremely obnoxious of late. Forgive the delay....my heart was here. I will try to blog more before we leave since I probably won't be able to on our trip. Unless I can figure out how to do it on my iPhone. I'm sure it's possible. Oh, and my parents have a computer so it's highly possible that I will get to attempt blogging. We shall see....

All I know is that the Gulf is calling me. Being out and away from this area and all of the busyness of our lives is extremely appealing to me. I love it here but with a self-employed hubby, staycations are NOT possible at this point in our wild and crazy lives.

I need a hair cut. I'd like some highlights. I'm going to the podiatrist on Friday. Can I get a Hallelujah? My foot has been hurting me for the better part of six months now...it's time to take some action. It's sorta hard to continue to work on weight loss when the repercussions of exercise/running/walking/whatevering are almost too painful. I walk like a 70 year old currently. It's time to finish getting skinny. ish. All of my kids' and I have clean teeth. I have one cavity. David is taking a mole off of his forehead...don't ask. Molly still wets her pants almost every day. gross. We fogged our house today because we have a slight (well, not slight. sorta bad) bug problem right now. They are not responding to roach traps but they look like roaches. They are RoboRoaches. I hate them.

Will is looking into finishing up his transcripts and beginning some college courses at Franklin College (fitting, since he is in a line of Franklins, namesake-wise). I can hardly believe that I have a kid old enough for this. Bah! Ethan is doing a great job with his schooling, his karate, his driving. He has gotten so tall and skinny. Melanie is also doing really well with her school load and helping us here at the homestead. She's really just a beautiful soul. Levi has loved texting from his iPod. he doesn't spell particularly well but our hopes are that this will spur him to start! He is a rare breed! Molly is loving school, writing her numbers, cutting, painting. I've really been trying to do more arts with them. They are both very creative...I love to see their little personalities come out in their creations. Molly is also going to be starting gymnastics when we return from AL.

That's what is going on. I'm trying to keep my head above water every single day. Every morning, David and I have to give each other a pep talk because getting out of bed is a struggle. It's frightening....it's almost too much. We just get a day done and another one starts. We may have SAD. I dunno. I'm not aging well. 40 may or may not bite.

I miss my baby. He'd be 19 months old tomorrow. NINETEEN months without a member of my family. A perfectly beautiful, brown haired beauty of a boy, who is not here to get into everything, who is not here to make cute noises and love and get loved on by everyone who meets him and his siblings. I think I miss that the most...the void that his departure has left in each of our hearts.

but also, because of his departure, the gifts he left us. The JOY we seek every day and find in some way, shape or form. The hope we have of heaven and seeing his face again. Knowing that Jack is with Jesus, the Creator of all things, my grandparents, other loved ones, Keith Green, Jim Elliot, Corrie tenBoom, is almost more than I can fathom.

There will always be a void in my life but I can't help but think of all of the good things, the many gifts that Jack Oliver Young's short, sweet life, brought to my otherwise quiet existence. Thank You, Lord...I will thank You till I take my last breath.

And that, folks, is a wrap. I will be home all. day. tomorrow and will hope to get another post on here! I will show my blog some love, which, in turn, shows love to my people.

ha ha.
snicker.
Tory, I'm writing you a letter...I have high hopes to have it out by the weekend. You are a fixture in my thoughts and prayers. Shellee, you and yours are as well! Dad, Mom, I cannot WAIT to see your mugs. and Mother Gulf. ha ha.

man, I'm crackin' myself upppp tonight.
g'night!

ketchup

Before this post gets away from me,

Happy 40th Birthday, dear Tory!

THE BIG 4-0!

How does it feel to begin a new decade?

Do you feel a li'l creaky and achy?

We will be singing to you today, from here.

For your birthday, I posted.

How does that work for ya? ;)

I would've put a pic here but couldn't seem to find one.

Levi needed a little love here on the blog...here, he's showing us his Legos from Christmas.

look at that fine motor goodness!

Just so ya know, too? he and the kids (not sure which ones, most likely  MOLLY camera thief) took these pix.a

This is his remote controlled car. 

Here we have Ethan reading to MollyMoo. She is showing some disrespect.

oooop, there's Levi again. looks like he left a tag on his shirt. hahaha.

I'm in a fevered rush (not really) to get Will's scrapbooks current...I am only ten years behind. Thankfully, I 've adopted the yearly spreads though it is difficult to moosh all of the pix into two pages. Honestly, I don't know what I will do when I get to the other kids because in 2002, we began digital pix and now I rarely print pix off.
Grrrr.

This is Will's Lego Hobbit creation. more on this at another time.

Ethan is feeding this younger sibs. I'm very grateful for this.

Levi's schooly day

doing some corrections on some work

my new scrapbook stuff shelf. It's about 18" deep and ready for organization.
but where it will come from? I have no clue. I am seriously so discombobulated in my old age that I start out to do something and almost end up in tears or an organizing frenzy.
Nicely built by Vince
Nicely painted (teal zeal) by yours truly.

Today promises to be amazing. I just know it.
Molly has to get a filling...that should be a blast.
It's all of about 7 degrees outside. But the sun IS shining and that should do wonders to my soul.

In less than 3 weeks, we will be AT THE GULF of MEXICO. I just can't wait much longer.

So in the meantime, I will continue my daily duties and get ready to take my youngest daughter to the dentist and make a million copies to send to this Union office and that union office...and hope that this finds you staying warm, finding some joy, like I'm trying so desperately to do right now...Lord, forgive me, please? and making it through each day with grace.

Adios!

heavenly

Yesterday, January 11, 2013, was the 2 year date for this little doll. Sully, my amazing friend Jamie's little boy, left this life while taking a nap. No matter how many times you say that, type it or think it, it NEVER gets easy. You almost always feel like you could maybe possibly throw up a little bit.  Or a lot.  Sully, you are missed. I look at your pic at my desk every day.
Sully Sunshine

this moment in my life, captured by the amazing nurses that cared for us,  will forever be etched in the corners of my mind. I had a really hard time looking at baby Jack that night. It must've been shock. It all seemed like such a horrific dream...maybe if I look away for a minute, I will look back down and he will be ALIVE. This is all just fake.
But there was never any denial that I felt cradled in the Lord's arms. People don't understand how I could still believe in a God that would allow the death of our fully developed, perfectly whole, 40 week, 6 day babe...but until you've lived it....just....well, endured it...this loss, the Lord's presence...don't knock it.
I miss you so very much, Jack Oliver.
I praise the Lord for the gift of your precious life and I always will.

Jack had the most perfect little head and face.  Forever perfect.
It hurts to look at this picture but I needed to put him on here again.
Precious darling boy.

Jack
Oliver
Young
6.30.2011

(the kid on the show the kids are watching is named, of course, Jack. Everyone keeps saying Jack. a lot. Sometimes I just feel so gipped that we don't get to yell his name at him...."Jack Oliver, get over here right now. Jack, don't touch that. Jackkkkk, stay outta the mud. Jack, don't mess with your brother's Legos. Jack, pick up your dirty clothes. man. what a great little name. missing our boy tonight.)

no day like a snow day

He lasted for about 15 minutes. When he realized how much fun we were having, he asked to get his very wet snowclothes back on. Ugh. My least favorite part about snow. I know other moms can testify!
these snow day pics were taken on 12/26/12.

Perfectly blustery day!

Don't eat yellow snow

Mel has to piece together winter fun clothing. Poor lady.

Yes, Levi is in footy pajamas. This was his second time out and his "snow" pants were soaked. yikes.
Three words for you: Welcome to Waverly!

My reflection(s) in the glass bulbs hanging from Jack's butterfly bush. See? I end up in pics eventually.

So, Yes! I'm a smidgen behind in my blogging, which my father informed me today and Tory does regularly....and so ya know? I love that you guys care enough to check here and that it makes your day.

(you really need to get out more. hahaha. I love you)

Savor all of these snow pics above. All of our snow melted today....officially. Ahhhhh! Windows are open and the sun even shone for a bit today.  The spring cleaning bug has bitten and dust is a-flying around here.

I've already gotten the storage/classroom to a place where we can move forward and improve/organize over time. Now, the scrap area is being packed up and desks moved....David will be building me a 4' by almost 4' high shelf for this creative area...One of the things that I cannot stand about crafting is having to pack everything up, even if I'm not done....to keep the island "neat".  Honestly, I don't get to craft as much as I want these days....but hopefully, this new shelf will help with this???? Gosh, I hope so.

I'm hoping to have pix of this stuff up soon but who knows?

I have many many thoughts rolling around in the ol' head. I used to just blog whatever I wanted but now I am much more guarded/careful because it would seem that I have a different perspective on life now....

and I need to be thoughtful of what I blather on about, ya know? Some of the thoughts are really good, really deep....others are just nonsense and pure crazy. I will definitely keep those to myself...

But for now, I need to get back to rearranging, organizing, dreaming of the day when I have all of my "crap" together.

ha ha.

thought I'd leave ya with a laugh.

Miss you, Mom and Dad. Looking forward to our trip down on Feb 10....wooooot woooooot!

The countdown is ON, baby!

Christmas time is here and gone.

the view from the floor.

David, you're funny. at least your kids think so.

now see? this was chosen first, before the pic with David above and up it comes, second. grrrr. I know it's possible to move the pix around in each post but I'm never going to.
All that to say, I love this li'l buncha kiddies. Here they are in their Christmas Eve PJ's.

Gift dispensing.

What fun would it be without our annual photo of each other taking photos? I dunno...

Me Momma and Me Poppa...who are now safely tucked away down in Gulf Shores, AL, just waiting for me and my family to crash their quiet little party. Cannot. wait. to go down there! Miss you guys already!

Levi and his pile o' goods

not sure what's happening here but E always seems to make these dead behind the eyes kinda pix.

And really, what kind of event would it be if B and I didn't torture y'all with a self portrait of ourselves? 

Becky So Very Festive

David really has a lot of the same mannerisms as his own Dad. Doesn't he, Natalie? 

Pipes can't wait to rip into her gifts!

Nora was slightly feverish this day but still cute as a li'l button.

 Miss Molly

I still the little boy who was completely disgruntled when he'd open clothing on  Christmas.  

Pretty Mel

We all chipped in and got Tom the Lego Millenium Falcon. It's not here yet. bummer.

very appropriate. yes? he'd like to think so. ha ha.

Will's Rooster chalkboard, from B and S. We've taken the rooster theme and run with it. Not sure how Will feels about it but it's fun for us.


My Mac is acting stupid tonight.
It keeps blinking and flashing so it's nearly impossible to get anything done on here.
Right now, David and Will are exercising to The Return of the King Lord of the Rings and it's noisy in here. (one of my favorite parts is playing as I type...at the end, where Frodo and Sam are waiting for someone to rescue them after Frodo delivers the ring into the pit of Mordor...and the big birds & Gandalf come swooping in and the angelic voices sing....I think of Jack, my little heavenly ambassador, who I miss dearly)....
Mel is baking a Sara Lee pie downstairs so when David gets done exercising, he can eat some. wha?
Yeah, that's how we roll.
emphasis on roll.

In all reality, 2013 is off to an ok start. It's freezing cold here, we've got 8" of snow and ice all over the place, our walkway is sort of a death trap. it gets dark at 5 p.m.
I'm ready for our trip south, which we aren't even taking till this time next month and really, it can't get here fast enough. I am encouraging the time to go slow though because then it means the time at the Gulf will speed by and I won't want to leave to come back here, where it's cold and dreary and responsibility looms around each and EVERY corner.

Choose JOY you say?

Ok. I'm really trying.
I may or may not have a case of S.A.D. because everything is aggravating today.
And I need to just thank the Lord for all of the good and even challenging things in my life.
They are all Refiner's Fire.

I truly have so much to be thankful for, yes I do.

Tomorrow, I get to go to work on a job at a rest area with my hubby. That means, I will get lunch and coffee, as well as some good fellowship. This weekend doesn't seem to have anything planned and I'm really ok with that.

I do hope that this post hasn't completely depressed the snot out of you....as it has me.
Just call me Susie Sunshine. :)



Until next time, which, according to Tory, is wayyyyy tooooo long in blog land...(cousin, I will try to blog again this weekend...I will even try to be creative and take some pix. :) )

Adios my friends.