nine months...is a long time but then again, it isn't.

beautiful glory baby...

I'm not gonna lie...yesterday was tough.
Friday, March 30, 2012 marked the 9th month since this sweet, perfect baby left this earth.
I knew it was coming but I really didn't think it would knock my feet out from under me.

I'm sad. I have mad moments. I have what-if moments. But then I'm reminded by that small voice of the Holy Spirit that Jack was in His care from start to earthly finish and beyond. We prayed fervently for this baby. I didn't do anything any differently than I did with my pregnancies with Will, Ethan, Melanie, Levi and Molly...why would I ever imagine that this birth would be any different?

Yes, we take into consideration that if we'd been in a hospital, they'd have noticed his slowing heart rate but we've never done that before so why would we now? Babies also die in hospitals.

Babies also die with NO EXPLANATION under complete medical care. even though pregnancy is NOT a medical condition.

Jack Oliver Young, you were a borrowed gift...you were not ours to keep. We PRAISE the Lord and Creator of the Heavens and the Earth for the time we had with you. You have changed my life, our lives, for the better.

For the lives you have touched without even opening your beautiful eyes this side of my skin.

I am so sad that I will never hold you again down here but I just have peace that I will see you again and I will get to hold you for eternity.

Clinging to that hope today.

Happy ninth month birthday with Jesus, sweetie pie. I love you more than ever. but you know that.

We're planning a beautiful little FIRST birthday with Jesus Christ party for Jack. Complete with cake, balloons, tears, music and celebration.

Saturday, June 30, 2012.
Jack Oliver Young's graveside...

latelyish

My beautiful friend, Kellie, teaching our kids some cool science things at White River Home Educators.

look at that rapt attention...

Molly's funny face. someone please comb this child's hair. I try. She has had a bang trim since this pic, thank heavens.

We were so glad to have Ian with us for a few days and sad to see him go back north.

A group of cool young men.

These little people never leave him alone while he's here. Sorry, Ian.

This really has nothing to do with the above pics other than to show just how on the go I am...My stash of shoes...5 pairs of shoes...just on this side of the room. ahhhh.

Hi there!!

I was home almost the ENTIRE day yesterday except for when Mel, Moll and I left to head to Beck's. Mel stayed with the little ladies and Beck and I ran to Jill D's house to meet her beautiful new addition, to her already beautiful family...Halle! sweetest little baby girl on that adorable momma's hip. My heart is melting!

Anyways...We picked up Mel's bike from Gray Goat and came home. Dinner started (GASP!! dinner at home?? yep!!). Our lovely neighbor, Catrena, one of the dearest women around, came out to ride bikes with my kids and brought us cookies. Is that not a beautiful neighborhood scene?

A quiet evening at home...how I took those for granted before!

Today, I get to be home almost this whole day too...hoping for a visit with my lovely, prego neighbor, Tashena (naptime, lady??) and then haircut for meself this evenin' as well as my grizzly bear eyebrows getting some taming! I can hardly WAIT!!

But right now, I'm out the door to ride bikes with Levi for a bit...before a shower and school...

Pray for my husband! I appreciate it...he has so much on his plate right now, all good things, but these good things are keeping him awake at night!

For posterity's sake and mine, when I come back here to recall the days, remember that you picked jogging back up today, thanks to some wise counsel from a runner girl...slow down, small steps. I was able to jog for ten minutes straight, two times. Couch to 5K has you running for 20 minutes straight on Day 3 of week 5, but that would be pushing it at this point. Tally HO!

be back later with some pix that Mel took of Molly.

Tory, this is for you, my dear!

Here I am, opening TK's clever gift, with that big ol' boy rolling around in my belly. I'm positive I was sweating profusely here too. This was one month, and one day before Jack was born into Jesus' arms.

cute, eh?

TK came up with this idea on her own, before Pinterest!

Such a blessed woman I am.

etched in my mind

I was looking thru my pictures, trying to find a picture of TK's baby shower gift for Jack, to blog about for my sweet cousin, Tory. I will get that picture posted for you, TW.

but I stumbled onto this picture.

Not sure who stuck the yellow rose in the gaze of my camera, but look past it, at the group of my guys, carrying the casket of my sweet, salsa grown baby up the hill of Babyland on that perfect July day.

I will carry this image with me till I die.

I'm pretty sure that humanly, no momma ever wants to see this.

But since I have, I will try my best to use it to bring glory to God.

Jack Oliver Young, we are coming up on what would be your 9th month. I know he knows it, but we miss him every day.

Great expectations.

Happy Monday.

thirty eight thursdays

Cincy March 2011

Cheesecake Factory May 18, 2011

baby shower May 29, 2011

June 25, 2011 or thereabouts.

May 18, 2011. Just waiting for JOY to show up.

sweet Jack Oliver Young is in every one of these pictures.
I miss him. I never even got to see his peepers opened. Or see how he'd move his mouth, gnaw on his sweet hands.
I can't even imagine what life would be like if he were here.
I feel like I'm still expecting.
I never got the prize at the end. I mean, I did, but it was so totally NOT what I had envisioned it to be.

I need to add to my list of things to blog about:
I got my beautiful "In Our Hearts" photo pendant in the mail today (Thank you, Celia. It is BEAUTIFUL). Very fitting for this 38th Thursday.
It's lovely.
I put it on, instantly.
I wore it into Target.
The cashier, Becky, asked me about it.
I told her who it was. She remembered me from Christmas time. Asked if I was the girl with "all the kids".
The lady in line behind me told me that there would be a special reward for moms like me in eternity.

I told her that I hoped it would be that baby boy on my hip forever. Praising the Lord, Creator of Life and this Universe. She smiled. it was like she knew something that I didn't, or that she was sent by Someone.

Hopefully life will slow down long enough for me to get my blog caught up this weekend.
It needs to. I can feel myself crashing and burning.

Just so ya know, kids, I love you. Each and every one of you.
Just so ya know, David, I love you.
Just so ya know, person that I talk to or don't talk to but know one way or another, I love you.

So many hurts. So many rejoices. so much sorrow, yet so much JOY. Find JOY. that's a challenge.
Good night...

Lately n stuff...

Had a hard time getting a good close up. Got this lovely Jack bracelet from my friend, Annette. His picture is on the other side.

Hanging with the C family for the Big Time Rush Movie premiere.
Tons of fun and lotsa groovy singing.

I never did take a before shot...but this is the after shot. Decoupaged coat rack for the shorter people of the house.

This was Will and Ethan's dresser when they were little. Then it was Levi's. Now it's empty and back home, just waiting for me to do something crafty to it. Down with Noah's ark and up with something new and cute, so I can use it for Molly.

Speaking of Molly...here she is, helping Ethan make some fried eggs.

Funny kids, making some amazing faces. love 'em.

This is our new pub table. it seats 8. Levi told me we had enough spots for Jack to sit here with us. mmmmm. I wish, buddy. thanks for thinking of him. See those yellow walls? they are going buh bye. I've finally chosen my palette and will be sure to post pix when I'm done.

Happy Monday.
I'm so tired for some reason. Probably because I run, run, run all the time, and when I'm not running here or there, I'm here, exercising, trying to get my booty trimmed down and drop some of this Jack weight. not that I wanna shed the Jack weight but it's time for me to take care of my body and teach my kids that it's ok to do so.

Anyways, I'm sure you wanted to know that.
I have so many blog posts rolling around in my head. I am hoping to get on here this week and next to get caught up.

I might need to take a nap first. with the weather being as awesome as it has been, it's been hard to sit still. Gotta get out there and take advantage.

Spring is coming...
tomorrow. it can only get better from here, right?

yup.
see you later, taters.

Hi. I'm still here...

Six of my most favorite people ever. 

a great pic of Will, and wow, not me. but that's really nothing new. Photogenic, I am not.

E wanted a pic with his momma too.

I love this guy.

pouters...they didn't want to come back home.

funny girls

The first installation of David's flooring system. Henryville Rest area, which may or may not have been decimated in the tornadoes a few weeks ago. I'm sure his floor is still there!

This spider...well, we killed it. Molly was less than thrilled to discover him on her sink. eww. this is for you, Dad.

Now that I'm pretty much done with my trip pix, give or take...I can begin to catch up on all the good things that have taken place since our return home a month and a half ago.

As for now, I have lotsa things to do for this evening so I'm outta here...Just wanted to finalize the trip pix.

Now, to come up with creative ways to express the past month's events and stuff.

Happy FRIDAY.

Jack Oliver Young ~ 37 weeks with Jesus

chock full of Gulf Coast goodness...

Mom was having a moment of silence.

Grams and her kiddies

Getting ready for our dolphin cruise...yes, there are shadows on their faces but we got the pic, for posterity's sake.

lovely

Molly liked the mermaids.

This was our cap'n. He was bare-foot and reminded me, vaguely, of George Michael, when he was "hetero"

very. cool.

it didn't take long for the dolphins to find us.

very neat

unfortunately, my camera battery needed to be charged so I only got 30 pix, as opposed to the 130 I had planned to take.

loved these guys.

Hello Flipper

I kept thinking Molly was going to fall overboard. She didn't.

My shirtless wonders...on the parking garage roof. It looked warmer than it was.

I took tons of sand pix the night before we left. I could write in sand all. day. long.

gorgeous

My kids

more of my (sister's) kids

We visited the Beach pavilion the day before we left...'twas a very insanely cool place.

Umm, Where'd ya go?? I don't see them...

Hiding a cool whip container with a note and stuff for my friend, Holly, and her family, who will be in this area in a few days...Hope they can find our treasure.

My chilly peeps

love

So, HI.
I sit down here to blog and I get so overwhelmed because I have a lot to blog about.
But I wanted completion in the trip pix so I'm just about there.

We sprung forward Sat night and honestly, I feel old but I'm going to go to bed...I am so tired.

I do love that it's staying lighter later. ha ha.

Until next time, sorry for the boring blog post. You know I love you.